[dridobits]

Hi Michelle...the only thing I think there is a misunderstanding is me having a life. I don't. I spent 60% of my time flat on my back. I have trouble taking care of myself, cannot grocery shop (can't lift), have stairs (can't move). and yes, it's getting worse. I can do a little walking but I never know when. My situation is completely unpredictable and I cannot make plans. Unfortunately, things are getting worse. I am incapable or working.

What has given me hope is that in terms of my situation regarding the "chemically sensitive disc" issue which is my biggest problem is that my doctor (who is an expert in this) wrote an article where the numbers are completely different. I have sent this to others, if you want this, let me know. It is for people with a chemically sensitive disc who do NOT have surgery and how they are usually NOT better. I am not looking to be out of pain. I am looking for the horrible nerve pain battery acid feeling with days of spasms and acute pain to hopefully change. That's not the same as wanting to run.

I had "given up" and didn't know about ADR. I was also dealing with life threatening cancer and fighting that. Now that's over I can move forward with the back.

Michelle, you and all of us know how complicated this decision is...The reason I waited over ten years is due to those statistics you wrote about. But I have learned I am not a statistic...if I believed that in regards to my cancer, I would be DEAD. Do I wish I had done this earlier? YES but in hindsight I didn't know about what my doctor wrote about in regards to this condition. I now have more hope. Also I met someone who changed my life...someone who makes me want so much more.

I guess the question is what do I have to lose and that's serious business? I could be in a wheelchair (I don't have to say the worst). I could also be taking a long walk. It's a risk game and I think since I've already gone through one life altering risk situation, I'm a little bit more apt to make this decision and also knowing if I had only six years more, I'd be willing to have two years (whatever) to recovery and four good years. Sounds creepy but this is how it is for me.

I have my first ortho appt this week with HMO after all my tests were completed (discogram, bone density, additional needed facet block, etc). next week. In two weeks I see Dr. Bitan and Dr. Neuwirth. I still don't know if I am a ADR candidate due to my facet arthritus and bone density. I will find out with each Dr. appt. I don't want fusion but if I have to do it. I will. I don't need to be too flexible. That I can give up...it's just the acute unrelenting nerve pain that I can no longer deal with.

You'll certainly find out more as I go along....I have to remain positive. For me after making the decision I cannot afford to think negative. I can be realistic but not negative.