[treefrog]

The consult with the neurosurgeon was a bit discouraging. He doesn't seem to like ADR, said it didn't produce any better results than fusion. Of course, he might be biased, his practice is expert in a minimally invasive fusion technique with approach through the side.

But he said in my case, he would say surgery is 50/50. He said, if my pain were conclusively mechanically induced, then surgery would be more clear cut. In other words, he thinks results are best if a patient has mechanically induced back pain.

Mechanically induced back pain = pain that goes away with relief of the pressure on the disc, for instance when lying down.

He also said that with my transitional anatomy, that he wasn't sure he would be able to get to my L5-S1 using his minimally invasive side approach fusion technique...which shows you where his head is.

He said the Europeans don't think like "us", and I should only go with data from the US. That there wasn't much more than anecdotal evidence from Europe, so he doesn't count that as evidence. Which that may be true....but.

He had extension and flexion x-rays done before I saw him. But he didn't mention the results of these, so I don't know if they showed him anything in particular. He ordered another MRI, since mine was a year old. Then I go see him again.

I have the MRI on 2/11, then the consult with him on 2/18.

I think I will ask about getting the MRI and flexion/extension x-ray images from him on disc (if possible). And I will also ask my PM doctor if I can get the old MRI (though I have the films already), x-rays, and CT-scan and x-ray from the discogram images on a disc as well. Then I will have them conveniently available for other consults.

Especially after today's consult, I am very discouraged. I am scared of what my life will be, if I can't get rid of this pain. I will most likely have to look for a different job. Because although I know my boss values my contribution to the lab, I don't think that for the long-term he will consider what I am doing now worth the amount he is paying me. And I know that it must be very tiresome for my boyfriend to have a girlfriend who can't do much of anything social, or clean the house, or have sex. Will he want to stay with me? Even after being together for almost 18 years, I'm not sure.

It seems like surgery is my only option, even if the outcome is so up-in-the-air. The only possibility of being pain-free, or close to it, is surgery. But again, the idea of surgery scares me. What if I end up with more pain? Unable to care for myself? What happens to me then?

Right now, I am inclined to go to Germany for surgery. I really, really do believe that is my best option, and seems to be the best option for any spine patient. But based on that last statement, am I being naive and unrealistic? I haven't even had a consult with anyone in Germany. But I keep hearing over and over again, that the most important consideration is the surgeon. Make sure you have a surgeon who has done 100's of surgeries. And I keep hearing how Dr. Bertagnoli and Dr. Zeegers are the best spine surgeons in the world. Well 2+2=4. I should go to Germany for surgery.

My head is spinning.