Kathy, good luck with your upcoming surgery. And no, you are not crazy. I think it translates to "hope." We just want to live again, do things again, flush our pain down the toilet once and for all. I will pray for great success for your upcoming surgery. You mentioned what else do you need to prepare for surgery. Do you have a raised toilet seat (speaking of flushing our pain....
) ? That was a huge help to me. The sock grabber? Easy access to your day to day items, so you won't have to reach or bend. Lots of frozen meals handy to pop in microwave. Some kind of help, as you will not be able to do laundry, load dishwasher, or any of those kinds of things for quite awhile. I hired a teen-age college student, neighbor, last summer, after my ALIF, to come over for a few hours every few days to do light housekeeping and laundry. It was much more affordable, than say, a cleaning service. I know there are so many other things that aren't surfacing to my brain yet this morning, but other folks will chime in with additional great ideas. Let your countdown begin!
My Best,
Cindylou