Ali,
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been known to drop off of the boards for months at a time & then re-appear. Sometimes when things just get to be too much to deal with, I just drop out of sight for a while.
As you state in your post, it appears that you are dealing with depression. I deal with it as well & have to say that I have it really bad sometimes. This is very common with people who are in pain. And the fact that your husband is away overseas is a hard thing to deal with right now as well. I can't even imagine having to deal with everything that you have going on but I can sympathize on a different level.
You mention that you are dealing with puffiness in your arm. I would suggest mentioning this to your doctor just to be sure that you don't have something going on either medically or as a reaction to medications that you may be on.
I don't want to sit here & tell you to go on anti-depressant medication because I would be a hypocrite. I choose to not be on meds because the last time I was on them, my weight ballooned & I just didn't like the way that it made me feel.
I've been dealing with back & neck pain since 1995. But with serious pain since 2001. Things do eventually get easier. It helps to have a support system. If you can't get anyone on the phone, hop on the board here. I am sure that there are folks on here who can offer their ear or eyes in this case, & will offer you support.
Remember, you are not alone Ali. A lot of folks here understand what you are going thru. I'll do the best I can to keep an eye out for your posts & offer you support in any way that I can. Unfortunately, I have to go to bed so I can wake up for work in 4 hours
Karin