[jchebert1979]

I'm glad my short time here has been of help to some people. I need to write a proper introduction but there is so much information to include that I keep putting it off.

I do know what you mean about doctors making you feel like a hypochondriac. For the first year, I was in such severe pain that I could not think straight. I knew I was not depressed, but I was in so much pain that I could not read, watch tv, talk, etc. My mind was in constant overdrive with fragmented thoughts, repetative thoughts, etc. I thought I had schizophrenia. It wasn't until the pain subsided a little bit that I realized that this is the kind of reaction you are supposed to have when you are in severe acute pain. Most people have experienced it before, just usually it subsides.

In that state I couldn't express myself well and everyone including family and friends all thought that I was depressed or crazy. Looking back on it I am disgusted that doctors did not pick up on it. I wasn't offered pain medication (that didn't work anyway) until well after a year.

Looking back on it, it's interesting that when I started feeling just slightly better, the MRI's showed the annular tear to be a little bit smaller (it is still there though). I didn't even realize the connection until yesterday.

I know it's a cliche', but you have got to keep fighting. Every day for well over a year I had to fight the urge to end my life because of the pain. It is still hard today, but I think I am coming to the end of this struggle. Just have to keep fighting until the end.