How Many Milligrams Are You On?

[ajspine]

Hi Terry,
Thank you for your reply and if you are also a Vet, I sincerely thank you for your service also. I have been service connected for my heart and my mental anxiety and agoraphobia(anything to not call it PTSD) for 6 years now. I have been a Vet for 10 years for the first 4 years I was too sick to fight with them and my ex husband was still active duty so I still had access to complete health care coverage. I am in contact with my VSO and meet with them again on Thursday.
I woke up one day 3 years ago this summer and could not move my neck and was so ill from a head ache I landed in the VA ER, they were of no help, just Xrays that showed I had DDD in my neck. Went and cried for another week and finally went to see my PCP, he ordered an Emergency MRI for that day. 3 herniated disks, 2 bone spurs compressing my spinal cord and nerve roots. For the exact diagnosis I would have to dig out my med records which I am later today and sending a copy to Mark.
My Dr. got me in with Neurosurgery within the week and he started me on the Hydrocodone, which worked just fine in combo with Motrin. The Neurosurgeon blew me off(he know longer works there, have no idea why) and i was sent home on pain meds, PT and ice and heat.
Another year went by and the pain grew worse, then I couldn't feel my thumb and my left arm just falls asleep for no reason. Another MRI and thing are much worse and surgery is recommended, ADR at the C5/C6 level. They said we will deal with your Neck(which they only partially did because I need another ADR and have two more herniated discs). The wait for this surgery was almost another year and rescheduled once due to Surgeon availability. During this time my headache was constant, no feeling in my left thumb and waking up 2/3 times a night with arm pain that made me vomit.
Finally, Surgery-7 months ago. Only relief is from the debilitating headaches, they only come on once or twice a week now. Arm pain and now neck pain are bad unless kept under control by meds.
Neurosurgery pushed me back to my PCP for med management and we both agreed to go back to the Hydros, Neuro put me on the Oxycodone 6 months before surgery. Then he went on Vaca, but he is back today, while he was out I had to go to the Chief of Staff(his boss) at the VMAC so he could my previous meds that worked, this med change is what caused my incompletes and aggravated my anxiety to the point I can barely leave my house. He has been my doc for 5 years and I trust him but I do not want him to have fill meds he isnot comfortable with so I requested a referral to a Civilian PM Clinic. I see them for my consultation tomorrow. I am allergic to the additives in most injections they have tried for my shoulder and they sent me for a full allergy work up at the Allergy Clinic to prove that I couldn't take the injections and would need medication management, Aquatic PT and I am hoping for Acupuncture to be approved also.
I thank you so much for your advice and listening to my story. I posted it on the iSpine Board also. I love the support here. Thank you for the compliments on my Pic, but guess what? I am the red head in the middle and the two girls are my 17 and 11 year old daughters. They love me so much and I them. But you are so correct, this pain is ruining my life. My partner and I are going for therapy next week. She is so supportive and my care giver but this tough on all of us. I do not want the rest of my life to be like this. I will post on the iSpine board following all the new PM appointments this week.
AJ

[Ringo]

Sister Warrior,

My pain once got so bad I almost killed myself. I use to fantacies about dying because the idea of it actually gave me peace of mind. The system at the VA is moniacal. You may find yourself going there expecting to get help only to find out you have to fight to get help and at a time when you might not have any fight left in you. That is sort of what happened to me.

They only care about your range of motion and radiculopathy (nerve damage as comfirmed by physical exam). They basicly look at your range of motion and grade your disability on that. Complaining about pain is a joke even if you think your head will fall off. Migrains are something that can be rated service connected.

Remember, any condition that resulted during service or any condition that was exacerbated from service can be service connected but that doen't mean they will give you a rating.

Also, your VSO usually has no medical back ground so they don't always know what to apply for. Some VSO orgainizations are better than others. Talk to local Vets and find out who is good.

What are you service connected for??

It wasn't untill I went to the VA asking for help (looking like death) and a social worker asked me what I had been thinking about. I told him how I was obscessing about dying and my plans to leave my family and kill myself. I was put in the psych unit for a couple weeks and I was started on meds. I hated it there at first and planned my escape but by the end, I didn't want to leave. I go to the VA every week for group and love my fellow Vets.

I just needed help with my back problems and kept getting told I was fine right up untill my 3rd back surgery, 2nd fusion. I couldn't take care of my family and had stopped working. I lost my job because I simply couldn't make my body go any more. I kept trying to get help and my mind started to snap. It is a normal process that your body goes through when under extreme stess (mental stress or physical stress). I now have severe anxiety and depression. And of all things, the VA disabled me for that. But, if it wasn't for a fellow Vet at the VA in Seattle, I wouldn't have known to apply for it. I was in bad shape. I am better but I am not the same person I used to be and I no longer have the same view of life. I felt very vulnerable and it brought out my issues of being abused as a child. I am different and I just can't seem to see life the same way any more. Thankfully, I have other Vets that understand me and don't freak out when I tell them how I feel :0 .

In any case. My heart goes out to you. I don't want you to go through what I went through with the VA. It is a totally different place than anyone could imagine. They have a hard time getting consistant good help there and lots of times the people are burned out or don't know what they are doing. I have helped a few others navigate the waters and they seemed to have benifited from it.

I will try to write more tomorrow.

Peace

[Ringo]

I am not trying to overwhelm you with personal information. Its just that stuff happens and sometimes it happens insidiously without your really knowing it. Denial is a great coping mechanism untill reality breaks through. Anyone can be broken.

The VA hospital system has some serious flaws but there are good people there that care deeply about veterans. Not all the people that signed up to go to war are the cream of the crop (so to speak). Many were people trying to escape home or other bad situations by going into the military. Serving their country was the last great frontier and would provide for better opportunity. That isn't always the case. I don't want to sound like I am the type that walks around stereo typing people.

I just have great respect for those that fought, fight or enforce the freedoms as they are given to us in the consitution. When you sign up for the military, you enter into a marriage of "untill death do we part." That doesn't mean it will happen but they have the right ask you to put your country ahead of your desire for self-preservation.

More advice regarding the VA: Get all your military medical records, keep a reasonably up to date copy of all your VA medical records and civilian medical records. Know what is in them and what they say in them. Know that by law you can contest anything that is written in them (HIPPA laws enable that and provides a procedure for doing that regardless of what the doctor says). So if the doctors notes aren't accurate, make ammendments to them. They very often chart the same stuff over and over and over again with only slight changes. Sometimes they put stuff in there that doesn't belong. If the VA sees something in there they can hang their hat on..... the wrong person can mess with you no matter how much othe evidence there is and you will spend all your time trying to fix it and in the mean time they will deny you benifits, etc. Any everything at the Veterans Administration seems to take years to decide on (no joke). I saw this happen to a Vet once. So, keep your records and know what is in them. Order them and keep a file for yourself. You will be connected with them for the rest of your life.

Your ability to work and provide for your family has been affected. It will effect your ability to enjoy life as you would have (gainfully employed), it will effect your childrens lives (if they miss the chance of getting a college education or greater.

PTSD is a diagnosis of anxiety. The VA is probably trying to walk the line with you, they do that with PTSD. You need to discuss it with a private counselor if possible, a VA counselor only if you know a good one that will act as your advocate 100%. They need to know what it is doing to your life and how it effects your ability to provide for yourself. There is a mental health score that will determine your rating with the VA. If your combined total is above a certain point, you could qualify for unemployability and you would be 100% disabiled in the eyes of the VA. Called unemployability rating. Medications and stress, pain can also contribute to insomnia and sleep apnea.

Sorry to blather on.

Best to you and yours!

Originally Posted by ajspine

Hi Terry,
Thank you for your reply and if you are also a Vet, I sincerely thank you for your service also. I have been service connected for my heart and my mental anxiety and agoraphobia(anything to not call it PTSD) for 6 years now. I have been a Vet for 10 years for the first 4 years I was too sick to fight with them and my ex husband was still active duty so I still had access to complete health care coverage. I am in contact with my VSO and meet with them again on Thursday.
I woke up one day 3 years ago this summer and could not move my neck and was so ill from a head ache I landed in the VA ER, they were of no help, just Xrays that showed I had DDD in my neck. Went and cried for another week and finally went to see my PCP, he ordered an Emergency MRI for that day. 3 herniated disks, 2 bone spurs compressing my spinal cord and nerve roots. For the exact diagnosis I would have to dig out my med records which I am later today and sending a copy to Mark.
My Dr. got me in with Neurosurgery within the week and he started me on the Hydrocodone, which worked just fine in combo with Motrin. The Neurosurgeon blew me off(he know longer works there, have no idea why) and i was sent home on pain meds, PT and ice and heat.
Another year went by and the pain grew worse, then I couldn't feel my thumb and my left arm just falls asleep for no reason. Another MRI and thing are much worse and surgery is recommended, ADR at the C5/C6 level. They said we will deal with your Neck(which they only partially did because I need another ADR and have two more herniated discs). The wait for this surgery was almost another year and rescheduled once due to Surgeon availability. During this time my headache was constant, no feeling in my left thumb and waking up 2/3 times a night with arm pain that made me vomit.
Finally, Surgery-7 months ago. Only relief is from the debilitating headaches, they only come on once or twice a week now. Arm pain and now neck pain are bad unless kept under control by meds.
Neurosurgery pushed me back to my PCP for med management and we both agreed to go back to the Hydros, Neuro put me on the Oxycodone 6 months before surgery. Then he went on Vaca, but he is back today, while he was out I had to go to the Chief of Staff(his boss) at the VMAC so he could my previous meds that worked, this med change is what caused my incompletes and aggravated my anxiety to the point I can barely leave my house. He has been my doc for 5 years and I trust him but I do not want him to have fill meds he isnot comfortable with so I requested a referral to a Civilian PM Clinic. I see them for my consultation tomorrow. I am allergic to the additives in most injections they have tried for my shoulder and they sent me for a full allergy work up at the Allergy Clinic to prove that I couldn't take the injections and would need medication management, Aquatic PT and I am hoping for Acupuncture to be approved also.
I thank you so much for your advice and listening to my story. I posted it on the iSpine Board also. I love the support here. Thank you for the compliments on my Pic, but guess what? I am the red head in the middle and the two girls are my 17 and 11 year old daughters. They love me so much and I them. But you are so correct, this pain is ruining my life. My partner and I are going for therapy next week. She is so supportive and my care giver but this tough on all of us. I do not want the rest of my life to be like this. I will post on the iSpine board following all the new PM appointments this week.
AJ