How did/do you deal with the stress?

[jessmith07]

Well, it's almost 1:00 and I just woke up. I ran out of sleeping pills, and forgot to go pick up my refill from the pharmacy. However, I'm feeling more at peace, albeit a bit restless. I think my increased dosage of my daily anxiety medication is starting to help. Sometimes I wish I could push "pause" on my children's neediness and selfishness as I know that they are a source of stress that under normal conditions I can handle with ease. My children are wonderful people and even on their worst days are better than some kids that I've seen on their best days, but they still go through the normal "it's all about me" and sometimes I want to scream at them, "Look at me, Darn it! No, It's NOT all about you! WHAT ABOUT ME?" But of course, I can't do that to them...they don't understand, and at this point in their lives, they really aren't supposed to. I grew up feeling like my mother's therapist, and a lot of the time, I felt like my mother's parent, and I just won't do that to my children.

And so, I have to breathe deep. They know that something's wrong. They ask if I'm okay, and then they ask can I do this, can I go here, don't forget about (fill in the blank), and on, and on...

God bless my husband for all the help he gives. He insisted we go out on a date tonight, and even though I really didn't want to, I went anyway, for him, and we went out to dinner, and we had a lovely time. We talked about looking forward to a time when the kids will be grown and won't be running us ragged, and we can find ourselves again, and I was thinking about how I can look forward to a pain free future with the love of my life...

And then it dawned on me...I can see HOPE...

[runner]

Jess,

Hope is a good thing.
I know about the kids, although I only have four.
My youngest is four.
My oldest is 18.
They can be, "me, me, me".
Usually it is can i have some money.
The two oldest are girls and the two youngest are the boys.
It is quite different between the two. LOL.
They were the biggest help after my surgery in 2008 and they do get IT after you are at home recovering.
I was thinking about Dale (DShobbies) saying about meditation because that is what I do and started that when i was a young athlete.
It really helps to put your mind in a good state and you can do it as little as a couple minutes a day. Just close your eyes, shut out everything, and take some deep breaths.
It is very calming.
I did that before my surgery, especially right before the anesthesiologist said it was time to go nite, nite.
It can be so overwhelming because you know once you have the surgery, you are not in charge anymore for a while. You have to take care of yourself.
Your family will survive. I think i drove mine nuts because I wanted things done my way.
I did find it helpful to have a hospital bed for a few months downstairs (we have a two-story house) and I "ran" the house from there. Yeah, alright. I really didn't but the little ones knew not to jump on the bed and i didn't feel like I was put off somewhere else in the house where it was more difficult to get help when I needed it (and at first i did need help, like with dressing and stuff.) You have got to remember this is major surgery. BTW, the lidocaine patches were great for incisional pain.
I got up and walked but when i wasn't walking, I was laying down, resting. The surgery was exhausting to my body and I needed to rest.
That's it. You will get through it fine.
Think positive thoughts.

Runner

[treefrog]

I'm glad your anti-anxiety meds are starting to work. That was really sweet that your husband wanted a date night, I hope you enjoyed it.

Hope is a wonderful thing. It keeps me going.

I wasn't able to take the amitriptyline last night, or the ativan. I found out the amitriptyline should be taken everyday, so I will wait and ask my doctor if that is how I should be taking it, I thought it was something to take just when I felt I needed it. And I didn't take the ativan, because I ended up having some swelling in my legs and feet. And I didn't want to take something new, with the possibility of some unknown side effects, I didn't want to chance it.

Monday will test my calm again. I will be sending part of the payment for surgery. But I want to make sure I get the best deal, so I will be checking with my bank before setting up the transaction with xe.com. Either way, I need to stop at the bank on my way into work. Uggh, I have a difficult enough time getting going in the morning. I'm not looking forward to dealing with this. But it needs to get done. Hopefully it will take some weight off my shoulders to have it finished.

I hope you are having a nice weekend.

[Katie]

Not to make you worry ahead of time, but the amytriptyline caused nightmares for me, and also for another friend of mine in the same boat. My PM doctor recommended it for pain control so I could sleep through the night. The nightmares prevented that from being a success

It does not have that effect with most people though, so try not to assume it will with you. I just wanted to let you know that it is a slim possibility in case it happens and you think you are going nuts