Shebo,
You've already been through several back surgeries and you know what to expect. What is the desired surgery that is scaring the heck out of you? What specifically is scarier than before or is it just the surgery itself which we all know is no walk in the park. Do you feel more anxious with this one or is it about the same, just jumping out of your skin bad 
BTW, who is your doctor?
Dale
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3 level Prodisc adr S1-L3, Oct 12, 2005
Dr. B in Bogen, Germany
Severe nerve damage in left leg, still working on it
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