[dshobbies]

Blair,

You are experiencing a whirlwind of both physical and emotional states. The physical you can do little about but the emotional is definitely in your control. Your brother is bipolar and you are his target. You know this and your family knows this. You don't need or want his emotional state to affect yours which in turn affects your pain and healing levels.

Sometimes, however difficult, it is in our best interests to remove ourselves from a volitile situation. Making the decision to curtail or cease contact with a loved family member is never easy but with age comes wisdom. You say that you didn't want your recovery to be about your brother but that is what is has become. BUT this is within your own control. YOU are making the decision to remain in contact with him. YOU are making the decision to allow him to affect your control. If he hurts you emotionally, YOU have the power to stop it. If he hurts you physically, it may be something you regret for the rest of your life.

Your brother will always be your brother. This is already written, period. Whether you stay in contact with him will never change that. The love you have for your brother will always remain intact. He is your brother, pure an simple. You don't have to like him. It's OK to hate him. If his behavior is affecting your life, you have the obligation to yourself to do whatever you can to correct the situation. Correcting him is not your job. I realize that you want to help and 'fix' him but you can't. Perhaps, at least for awhile, it's time to stop trying and let him go.

Blair, he scares me. He's capable of really hurting you. Only YOU can prevent that.

I hope your pain subsides soon and your recovery goes smoothly. I also hope your brother doesn't put another foot into your back. I'd hate to read about this in the newspaper!

End of sermon. Please keep us posted, Dale