[Kathy]

Cathy,
I have to agree with Dale. I always say I never knew back pain until I had back pain. Before my injury, I just thought I had pain. What I would have said was a 5 or 6 then, would be a 1 today, a great day. People who have never suffered from pain, don't get it. It wears you out to be in pain constantly, whether a 4 or a 9, day in and day out, . It is physically, mentally and emotionally taxing. Then, to try and make a life altering decision, that could be the best thing you've ever done, or the beginning of the end; is almost impossible. Even with the pain and limitations I deal with, the dr's saying I will not get better without surgery, and time I have been suffering; I still have family that doesn't understand why I can't deal with it *like they do*. The difference is, their pain is what most of us would consider a great day and is intermittent. They have probably never laid, cried and prayed for death over their pain. They don't get it and they are not us. Only us and those few compassionate friends see what we go through. Not to mention, I don't want to have to take pills to function for the rest of my life. To have to make sure I don't leave the house without my medication, to not commit to anything *just in case I am having a bad day*, to have to back out of commitments because of pain, to live like a hermit in order to be as comfortable as possible, to tell my kids that mommy can't hold you- her back hurts, to have an hour or two window of pain relief between pills, not be able to be spontaneous and live a 'not really living, just existing life- if you can even call it that'. No one can judge that, they haven't walked in our shoes. God gave us life and gave it to us abundantly, not mediocre life; but abundant. I feel it is my duty to myself and my children to do everything I humanily can to get better. Yeah, I could live with this the rest of my life, it's not going to kill me, it's not life threatening; but I want and need a better quality of life. It really is a quality of life decision for most of us, very few is it truly life threatening, obviously not good for the body; but not going to literally kill you. It's just like the decision to have drugs in childbirth or not, it is your body and your decision. No one would look badly on someone who was in labor for 3 days and had drugs. Why would someone judge someone who is in pain 24/7/365 for wanting help. I, personally, would rather have 24 hours of drug free intense childbirth once a month (which I have done), than to be in pain all day. At least with childbirth, their is an end to it and a really great reward!
So, my point is, if this is effecting you mentally, emotionally, physically and interfering with your life; then why should you suffer. You have to do what's best for YOUR body and only you can make that decision. Just smile and say 'oh, yeah, uh-huh, etc' when people give you BS advice and then do what you want to do.
Ok, I'm rambling and on my soapbox again, can you tell I'm passionate about this? He He. Best of Luck in making a decision that you can live with. Kathy