Cathy,
You have to stop beating yourself up. If your boyfriend has been with you for 18 years, surely your relationship is not shallow. Most marriages don't last that long and I'm sure he WANTS to be there for you, no matter what. But I will offer this advice, if you're that concerned and it is obviously bothering you, there's only one person you should be talking to about it, and that is him!
About your possible surgery. Once you get your new MRI, you can send them to Mark, located in Fountain Valley, CA, who can digitally put them on his website for a consultation with any doctor in the world, including Dr.s B&Z. His fee in nominal and you'll get either or both opinions on your best course of action from the comfort of your living room couch. I realize I'm touting Mark's services but in you want their opinions, this is the quickest and easiest way to do it.
Good luck, Dale
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3 level Prodisc adr S1-L3, Oct 12, 2005
Dr. B in Bogen, Germany
Severe nerve damage in left leg, still working on it
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