todays funny

[chasswen]

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I cant wear your trousers." she said.

"Thats right, said the husband, "and dont you ever forget it. Im the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. I cant get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right...and thats the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes." =

[chasswen]

For all of you in education, with sons,
grandsons, or who just love the things little kids say ~ a reminder that adult
words are often taken literally......

'Circumcised' (this is priceless!)


A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back
to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he
had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him
to go down to the principal's office, and to telephone his mother and ask her
what he should do about it.

He did and returned to his class. Suddenly,
there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only
to find him sitting at his desk with his 'private part' hanging out. 'I thought
I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said, 'and she told me that
if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from
school.'