How long were you off work after ADR surgery?

[jessmith07]

Dale,

Your post made me cry...they were tears of relief, for the understanding and the empathy and the clarity. I have gotten so much support from everyone here, I can't even begin to thank you all.

The ultra-crazies get me most when I'm sleep deprived, which is a lot lately. Mark asked me a few weeks ago how I was holding up, if I was becoming depressed. I told him, no, I didn't feel depressed, but that I did fight it back everyday. My children, while they do occasionally get on my nerves, are like 7 rays of sunshine that beam down on me, and they give me the strength to fight. How am I going to keep fighting when I'm in Europe, so far away from them for so long?

And so, last night, I increased my anxiety medication (Cymbalta) from 60 mg to 90 mg, which was what I was on before my last surgery. I don't know why I didn't think to do that sooner (thanks Cathy!!!!). I also occasionally take Sonata for sleep, and I can take 1 or 2 at bedtime, so I went ahead and took 2. I did wake up a couple of times, but I was able to go back to sleep, and managed to get about 6.5 hours. I'll try the same again tonight.

Thanks again for all the support! (Breath in~~Breath out~~Drink Wine!!!)

[jessmith07]

Runner,

Yes, we make our own wine, but we don't have a vineyard. We DO have 8 blueberry plants in the backyard, but they aren't producing anything yet. Sometimes we buy kits, but we've also developed recipes from juice that we can get from the store. We have our own label that we call Convergence, because we developed it not long after we met, and decided that we wanted to blend our beautiful families together into one. And so Convergence was born: The occurrence of two or more things coming together; the act of coming closer. Convergence is a fruit wine and we currently have three varieties: Convergence White (Apple/Peach/White grape), Convergence Red (Concord/Blueberry/Strawberry) and our newest, Convergence Blush (Con. White + Merlot). We are still fiddling with the Convergence Red. Our last two batches were very acidic, so we've gone back to the drawing board with it and are trying something new with this next go-round, but it takes SO LONG before you can do anything. We have three batches that are about thee months old aging in the 6-gallon carboys...they need at least another two months...

[treefrog]

We have three batches that are about thee months old aging in the 6-gallon carboys...they need at least another two months...

Well that will be something to look forward to after surgery.

Well, I am having some of that anxiety myself today. My boyfriend was told that the home equity line of credit increase that he applied for (already had the HELOC, and is just asking for an increase in the amount, to pay for surgery), is going to take 3-4 weeks . They had told me it would only take a week.

3-4 weeks is too late! I need that money now!

I don't know what I am going to do. Everything is in motion to have surgery in 20 days. I have to find a way to make it happen. I just want to cry right now, but I'm at work so I have to hold it together.

[Katie]

Maybe get a letter from the bank that you can send to the doctor, explaining the situation, and they may give you some breathing room. If it is guaranteed, then this may not be a show (or surgery) stopper.

Can't hurt to ask

[treefrog]

Well, I emailed ProSpine. Telling them the situation, and asking if there were options, with some suggestions for what I can do.

I am still hoping we can get the bank to move more quickly. He will be calling them tonight, and if things still don't seem to be going our way, we will go to our branch in the morning.

OMG, I can feel the stress now in my neck. I think I should leave work early, and try to chill out at home. Luckily the boss isn't here today.

[jessmith07]

Hey Everybody...just checking in...it's 10 minutes 'til midnight, and I'm wake, again...even after 2 sleeping pills.

At the moment, not only are the crazies getting me, but me, but I'm feeling that black shadow of depression. During the day, we all fight it. Even though the ones I love have no idea that the monster is there, they fight it on my behalf, unknowingly. I have two of my girls in with a psychologist, and she asked them how they felt about my upcoming surgery...they replied that they were fine...glad I was going to get fixed. Outside of their presence, I told her that my children are my children and not my little therapists, so they know just the facts, and none of my deep, dark fears. I tell them very little; just the bare minimum, and I try not to talk about it in front of them, knowing that kids are smart and that they will pick up a little more on their own when I'm not paying attention anyway. They know I'm stressed and a little scared (even tough I'm terrified, I try to down play it for them), but I look at them and tell them that it's normal and that I have the best doctor in the world, and that everything is going to be fine. They trust me, so they believe me. I hope I'm doing right by them...

[fuzzy]

Yes, you have one of the best back doctors in the world. I hope you are getting some sleep now. I read somewhere above that you had a glass of wine the other night. I am not sure if that is so good if one is trying to sleep . I had a lot of problems like this before my surgey as well and went on lorazepam which helped not only the nerves and sleep but odly enough also the parenthasia and neuralgia problems in my feet. So I am still taking it and it still helps with my sleep as usually after 3 hours of sleep my ibuprofen has worn off and the pain builds up more and more just from lying. Without this stuff I could often give up sleeping after 3 hours but that would have a real impact on my next days energy and stress so my Dr. keeps me on it. Nice guy.

[Karger]

I know this thread hasn't been active in a very long time, but I feel I am worried just as much as Jess. Jess what was your outcome?

[Gktm300]

I contacted her yesterday she is doing well n happy about her decision.

[Michelle Maree]

Thank god others feel the same.
Here I have been feeling completely inadequate not wanting to get out of bed in the morning but having to at some point because of pain.
I am having a nervous breakdown from the stress of indecision. Wanting surgery but not sure if I can live with the outcome if not a success.
How do others keep going?
How do you keep moving forward?
How do you keep positive?
Do others see a psychologist to help them cope?
Please tell me some coping strategies because I have none left to draw from.

[jessmith07]

Michelle, one thing I've learned in the short time I've been on this forum is that I've found a wonderful group of people who KNOW what I'm going though, either because they've been there, they are there, or they're heading there. Yes, there are others who feel the same as you. I, myself, have taken the day off from work because I'm so exhausted, and I just need a quiet day. How do I keep going? Honestly, my family keeps me going. My husband is my rock and if it weren't for his patience and understanding I couldn't do this. My children NEED me to get out of bed every morning, because I don't want their childhood memories to me filled with a mom who was there but unavailable. How do I stay positive? Sheer gut force, but it gets harder and harder as the days go by because the stress is wearing me down. That's when my husband steps in and stays positive enough for both of us.

You have to have a strong support system. I am blessed to be surrounded by people that I can draw strength from, and I think that God led me to this forum as a further means of support. If you can see a psychologist, then do. It certainly can't hurt. But hang in there, and keep talking to us. It's what we're here for.

[jessmith07]

Fuzzy...lorazapam...isn't that Xanax? I have some of that somewhere. I have a fear of dentists and I've been having some reconstructive work done over the last couple of years so I have to pop a couple of those before I go so that I don't say bad things about my doctor and his mama (I actually said that to him as he was leading me to "The Chair"...no kidding! ) As for the wine, my husband and I are what you would call wine enthusiasts, and we always have a couple of glasses in the evenings to help us relax (we're both pretty uptight people naturally )...which is why I HATE taking pain medication (like the narcotics).

[fuzzy]

Xanax is short acting so it wears off after 2 to 3 hours and that together with the pain build up would cause me a major axiety attacks, like a flash i would sit straight up at 2 in the morning and that was it for the night. I could set my clock by it. My doc tried several of the others and when he heard about my xanax complaint he quickly switched me. The lorazepam is longer acting and doesn't fall of the cliff as fast as the xanax which I think it meant for anxiety (dentist) but it is weaker then the loraz which the doctors don't like to write up unless they know you real well and you can manage it as it has a addictive tendency. What happens is the usual dose does not work any more and one "ups" the dose. Not good. Luckily that doesn't happen with me but it really helps with the pain constant axiety and the fact that I might get some sleep at least for the first few hours. Last night by the way was a bad night for me has my lower half tingled, when numbish etc depending how I lied and if I move arround from not being able to sleep makes it worse. I hate this neck!

I think the Dr.s don't like to write these meds especially for chronics like me due to the abuse issue. He want me to take antidepressants instead as pain causes depression, well known fact. But I had such good luck with this simple med as it helps other ways too (not documented) that I like it for that and rather not take the other.

Oh edit: I am quite into wines myself but I had to lay really low on the wine due to my problems I had to chose, the wine, or better sleep. I have friends with fine wineries. I can go enjoy the winery have a quarter of a glass and that is all I can handle...

[symara]

I've read in other places that anti-depresents can help with nerve pain also... i haven't been put on any yet, but I'm thinking of trying this, for both depression and the pain. I have a history of chronic depression anyway and the pain is making it come back on me full force here lately.

[dshobbies]

Michelle,

Aside from drugs, it is our support system that keeps us going.

My husband is absolutely everything to me. He kept me going. If I couldn't depend on him, my life would be 100 times harder. The reverse is also true and I couldn't/wouldn't let him down.

When someone is more important than you, you do it for them. You draw from their strength.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time but others have been where you are and have come out whole. Hang onto that hope and don't let go. Don't lose sight of the other side. It's there, even if the tunnel looks dark, the light is there. My tunnel was 3 years long and now it's gone. Yours will be gone too!

Please don't give up the hope, Dale

[treefrog]

I enjoy wine too. But I have given up drinking at all, while I am on pain medications. I can't wait to be able to have a drink again, one of these days. Maybe it won't take all summer before I can stop taking the meds, and I can enjoy sitting on my deck in the evening with a glass of wine.....that would be lovely.