Getting panicky about ill friend. What do I do?

[Cindylou]

Hi everyone. I am really starting to get panicky about our dear friend who has stage 4 lung cancer. He took a drastic turn for the worse this past week. He is home now with an oxygen tank, hospice care, and all their grown girls finished arriving on Saturday evening. I think what I am getting panicky about is, even tho I sat with Sue (his wife) all afternoon and evening on Friday, I never got to see Terry. Again, when my husband and I took the food over Saturday evening, we only dropped it off, and once again, no opportunity to say our goodbyes. I totally get that the family needs "their time," and I got an email late last night from their one daughter who has taken on the task of updating their good friends. She mentioned that if people want to come visit, to email her and she is coordinating it all. Of course, he can only handle a few visitors at a time. When I emailed Libby back this morning, it occurred to me that perhaps I should mention that, even tho I have been over there, I have not seen her Dad once. (she was still driving from D.C. and wasn't there Friday. In fact she had arrived about 30 minutes before we arrived with the food on Saturday evening, so of course, she needed that time with her Dad. I would never dream to encroach on that.) But now, no word back from her. (I did call at 8:30 am this morning and got Chuck, a good friend who arrived Friday from Georgia, and is staying there. I believe he is handling phone duty.) But, of course, he didn't know what to tell me in terms of visiting. And no email back from Libby. I am honestly getting nauseous about not knowing his status............ok, I just called but no one picked up, which makes me more nervous. I know there is a houseful of people over there. Obviously, I don't "wait" well. Shouldn't someone be keeping his dearest friends better informed? I can't bear the thought of him dying without so much as a goodbye. Please advise me on this most uncomfortable etiquette.

Thank-you,

Cindylou