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Search: Posts Made By: Alastair
Forum: Community Support - NSR 08-06-2012, 03:53 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
They tell me Usain Bolt has never missed his...

They tell me Usain Bolt has never missed his bus:):):):):)
Forum: Community Support - NSR 01-18-2009, 05:10 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
Great truths that little children have learnt:

Great truths that little children have learnt:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 10-09-2008, 05:41 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
A cop is sitting in his car across from a...

A cop is sitting in his car across from a restaurant when he notices an elderly couple slip into the empty lot next door. They look around carefully, she pulls up her dress, grabs the fence and they...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 08-31-2007, 10:57 AM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
Two female blond cops were in a parking lot...

Two female blond cops were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 07-31-2007, 05:43 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette one day, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 07-11-2007, 09:31 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
THE TURKEY AND THE BULL A turkey is...

THE TURKEY AND THE BULL


A turkey is chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighs the turkey, "but I just haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 06-28-2007, 12:50 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
An elderly man and his wife are taking a stroll...

An elderly man and his wife are taking a stroll through the country when they spy a fence where they used to conduct their courting.
Excited by this, they make love furiously, with their arms and...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 06-09-2007, 01:27 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
Apparently, one in five people in the world are...

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese.
And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad.
Or my older brother Colin or my younger...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 06-08-2007, 01:57 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
The Pope, a schoolboy and an unnamed American...

The Pope, a schoolboy and an unnamed American President are in a plane. Suddenly the pilot suffers a heart attack and the craft takes a nosedive. As the engines sputter, the three passengers try to...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 06-08-2007, 01:48 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
THE BLIND MAN While redecorating a...

THE BLIND MAN


While redecorating a church, three nuns become extremely hot and sweaty in their habits, so Mother Superior says, "Let's take our clothes off, and work naked."
The other two nuns...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 06-08-2007, 01:45 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
Psychiatric hotline - RING RING RING - ...

Psychiatric hotline - RING RING RING -

“Welcome to Psychiatric hotline… If you are obsessive compulsive please press 1 repeatedly… If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 06-07-2007, 05:40 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
A man is stranded on a desert island for 10...

A man is stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.
Man: "Hi! I am so happy to see you."
Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 06-06-2007, 08:39 AM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and...

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.



2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,...
Forum: Community Support - NSR 03-14-2007, 06:36 PM
Replies: 356
Views: 69,598
Posted By Alastair
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo...

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her
>faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
>
>One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before...
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