Hard Wear Removal Surgery

[jsewell]

Hi Maria,
I thought i sent you an email. Maybe in my dreams!
I am still using a walker to be able to stand up straight and walk. My right side and to the hip area is really bothering me the last few days. If it lasts i will call my doc next week. I sure hope in about 2 weeks to get down to a cane. But i am in so much better shape than last month.
My house closed yesterday. I am giving myself 2 weeks to get out of here. I asked my ex (the divorce went through last week) to please help my son who is the only one to pack. I have had no response so i guess that is a no. I hear of so many ex's that really help their former partner, but not mine. Maybe it is his new wife. To top it all off, my son was puking all day yesterday, he hasn't gotten up yet, but i suspect he will not be in any shape to help today. I will probably just go over there and measure stuff to see what i need to leave behind. I also have to get the appliances so i need to measure and make sure they are standard sizes.

I've been in stores twice with my daughter before she moved to Irvine. It is so much easier with a walker to walk through a smooth surface. On the sidewalks the darn thing gets stuck in every little tiny crack. If i am going too fast(still slow) it almost tips over. They sell these little things like tiny ski's , i saw a walker with one the other day. I think if i have time with someone taking me i will get some. The rubber tips seem silly to have on there. I do have home physical therapy and we just started on some leg exercises. Nothing to strengthen yet, just some really easy stuff.

Now for the terrifying move!!
I promise i will not pick up a thing that weighs more than a pound.
judy

[Maria]

Things sound good then such as with the closing on your house altho the packing/moving is such a big thing. I know that I couldn't have done it without Edgar or hiring someone. I think he felt guilty to some degree so I think that is he tried to help me out with things like my car and my move and such BEFORE the GF got here from Colombia. He had called me to ask me how to write his note to take vacation time off from work. He wanted 2 weeks off so he could take her to all the theme parks in CA and Vegas for 2 days and I think the Grand Canyon. As a nice gesture he did ask me if I wanted to go to the GC but he knew I'd say no. I didn't think he was going to do it as he said it was going to be $600 or something like that but then I guess he decided to pay for her and himself.

I was surprised he hadn't mentioned the nature of their relationship tho ultimately very relieved so I can move on with my own life and date if I want. Not that I want to because I can't imagine anyone putting up with all my complaints however at least things are out in the open now.

His GF isn't very cute tho she's Ok and she's nice. I think he was seeing her before we got married too. Long ago that is.

Oh well such is life. I don't know if he'll make me pay the $ I owe him since it's over $1000 tho I imagine that sooner or later he'll ask for it. Maybe not again out of guilt. That'd be cool too so I just won't say anything now about owing him the $ as I've brought it up numerous times but he didn't ever ask me to pay when I did.

Ok good luck with the packing and I do hope your EX will help you or at least help your son!!!! Be good now!

[jsewell]

Maria,
I am sorry about the girlfriend thing with Edgar. I know it hurts to some degree.
You are right now you can move on. I feel the same way about dating. And seeing i am at home most of the time, unlikely i would meet anyone anyway. I need to get my kids straightened out first and myself.

I don't know if my back will ever be at a point that i don't need something for some sort of pain.
I'm glad you got your cocktail injection and it helped so much. But i sure bet it hurt.
I always took 20mg of percocet as one dose. Then at the hospital i didn't get any for about 3 days , then i started asking for it to see if some of my ailment was do to withdrawal symptoms. I'd say i got 10mg maybe 3 times in 24 hours. Ok then my doc gives me a prescription for one every 3 hours. That worked good. Well when i went to my post op appointment, he now wants me to take only 1 every 6 hours. Not so good. He is also referring me to a new pain management doctor as i was very unhappy with mine the month i was in so much pain as she did absolutely nothing. My appointment is on the 15th of Oct and i have just enough to take 5 a day. I told him i did want to go down to the 10mg so i guess this is the weaning process. I can't wait to see what the new pm has to say about all this.

By then i will be all moved in. I hope!
I doubt my ex will help at all physically, he never helped with any other move. So now i will ask him for money to hire a mover. Actually my neighbor is going to do it with his 2 boys and their trucks. I may insist on renting a UHaul for them to make it easier. He is also installing ceiling fans in the bedrooms, the dishwasher, and building me a carport with storage as we have no garage. I am excited now. When my realtor went to get the keys yesterday a bunch of really nice neighbors came over as they thought i was there. I feel much better about the neighborhood now.
TAke care
judy

[Maria]

Please Judy get some financial help with moving or just pay. I'm sorry I didn't do it myself and if I have to move again I will pay for help as my t spine bothers me now not badly tho still it's more apparent than I've noticed in the past. It's about t-7 and I do have scoliosis there and DDD and probably a disc bulge or two or three.. (wtfknows)... anyway I really have done far too much moving in the last several years (pack move and such).

Sounds like things are much better and I think you'll love having to pay less and actually hopefully be able to have some property to keep esp since you're purchasing this upon your divorce so baby it's YOURS!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

Ok wishing you all the best and still hoping we can get together one of these days and meet!

[jsewell]

I am feeling now that 3 weeks out i am still very dependent on a walker that it is taking me too long to be down to a cane or nothing. I know last summer i was using a cane at 3 weeks after as the day jeff told me he was leaving i had it in the car with me. It worries me that my back is still so weak.

My daughter came home from Irvine today to help her brother pack. So they did the laundry room and the downstairs bathroom. She emptied out a coffee table with 3 good sized drawers as well. I emptied the other one. My room is almost ready just to be put into a few bags and go. Jamie has all of her stuff out or ready too.
My son actually picked the smallest room as it is at the back of the house. my youngest came, but sat in one room and cried. She really doesn't want to move. She hates the Hispanic neighborhood where we will be a minority. I think she is embarrassed for her friends to see it. She is so used to being in a middle class all white neighborhood. It is making me sad.

I have been good and haven't lifted or carried a thing. Tomorrow i will hopefully pack up my roll top desk which i have no room for . Sad, i really like it. Jeff might take it , he took a picture of it for his wife to see if they will take it.
Oh I just realized i don't know where i will put my Grandmothers singer machine . It is in a cabinet and she taught me how to sew on it. It is definitely coming with me. Maybe in my bedroom. All i have is one dresser, one end table and my bed. So it should fit, i took the biggest room.
Pizza is here , so i'll talk to you later
judy

[Maria]

Judy,
Sorry to read that your youngest is upset with the move. Hopefully in time she'll be Ok with it.

I've not lived in such a white upper middle class neighborhood in so long that this is culture shock to me. I've cried my own fair share of tears as well because I miss my friends and the diversity of a more city like env. which I have always loved even tho at times been uncomfortable or frightened in a bit.

Now property is starting to go up in LB so I don't have the opportunity to change my mind and buy a little place there (and I do mean little). I hope to become more accustomed to living in the "OC" ~

My neighbor who is 55 and engaged to a very wealthy and sickly dying 75 y.o. man told me yesterday her fiance was going to buy her a new Mercedes (model blahblahblah)~ she gets everything she wants and doesn't even have to be intimate with him!

Not that she's all that healthy herself as she has a brain tumor that she's being treated for and has had some other type of cancer tho she's a very upbeat lively person and very into the "finer" things in life.

I haven't even bought a bed frame or mattress yet and still need some furniture tho I'm not really that motivated to shop here. If I were in Long Beach I'd have all my spots to go to and zoom around and you could hardly stop me from shopping!

Did I tell you I took a lovely lovely long walk down at Laguna Beach near the Montage? It was incredible! It is really beautiful here tho I don't like having to drive the 8 miles to get to the beach. I was just so spoiled living a block from the beach all those years.

Re your use of something to help support you do take care and be patient with yourself. You seem to forget that this is how many more surgeries you've had since the one last summer or last year so you can't expect yourself to heal at the same rate. I think you really do expect too much out of yourself PLUS you seem to always be trying to manage multiple things as the same time and with very little emotional or physical support. I mean I know you have your kids tho really they probably just cannot comprehend hardly any of what you're going thru even tho they have seen you suffer physically and emotionally. They're too young and too healthy~

So please Judy do have patience with yourself and your recovery timeline. I'm glad you're being good and not pushing yourself too hard or lifting or anything.

take care and sorry if I sound like a nag! Maria

[jsewell]

My surgeon had me cut down to one pill every 6 hours. I was always trying to play catch up and never really felt good. Last night i was in so much pain , i hardly slept so I took one at night and one in the morning. About 4 hours apart. What a difference. So i counted what i have left and with his other prescription and how i have been conserving, i have enough to take every 4 hours until i see the new pain management doc. I'm glad.
My 2 youngest are still freaking out about the neighborhood after we went over there yesterday early evening. My son doesn't give me grief over it, but my youngest just cried, then when we got home called a friend to come and get her and spent the night at her house. She texted me a lot, all negative, like I don't love her or i wouldn't have done this and that i am ruining her life. This is going to be tough.

My daughter had come over from Irvine and packed a lot, one bathroom,the laundry room ,I'm not sure how much of our coat closet, which we won't have in the new place. Also her stuff is all set and a lot is at the house .
All i am doing is going through random drawers and I had already packed a lot of my clothes before the first surgery. I am also cleaning and packing off the top of things.

I'm sorry you have been crying and missing your old neighborhood so much.
Your beach walk sounds wonderful. I hope i can do that in like 2 to 3 weeks.

My son is at school, he has a break in the afternoon ,then school again tonight so i don't see anything being brought over today. Although nothing else is packed anyway. The move day will be on Monday. I just called my neighbor who is installing ceiling fans, my dishwasher and over the stove microwave. He is also building a carport for me and put in a mailbox, the one that was there was in sad shape and when we first went over it was gone.

I'll come visit you in the OC when i am able to. Maybe i could see my daughter at Irvine on the same day.
My pt will be here in minutes so I'm going now,
judy

[Maria]

Hi Judy,
was wondering how everything is going? I haven't written because I figured you'd be way too busy to read or answer any emails tho am just wondering how it's going and if you're moved yet?

I just got off the phone with my argumentative bossy husband and one thing I don't have any patience for anymore (since learning he's got a GF) is that BS!

Ok hope all is well with you~ take care, Maria

[jsewell]

Hi Maria,
Well we had moved all the big stuff on Monday. They did forget my grandmothers sewing machine , i have a message to them to bring it in the next 3 days before i am no longer renting the house In Sierra Madre.

It is fine here , quiet. We do have a lot of dogs in the neighborhood, sometimes they all get going, but so far that is it.
The second night here i went to put towels in the bathroom on the opposite side of the house that Tim and i had not been using. It was flooded and into the room that backs up to it on about 6 inches of carpet. So i do have insurance for that, one year coverage from my realtor. but they couldn't send anyone out until the next day so i called a plumber , but i will get reimbursed. He said it was a main line clog. So nothing we could have done in less than 24 hours. That pissed me off, this is supposed to have all new plumbing. I guess not to the street. So then the plumber wanted to come back with the video camera to go to the street because he got tree roots.
I declined, but today , my son tells me there is water on his carpet at the other bathroom. The plumber told me the way the pipes splilt the other bathroom was not effected. So he is coming later this afternoon.
Homeownership is starting out to scare me alone .
I am going to check in the front yard because i think a tree has been recently cut down and that may be the reason and they just didn't rooto rooter the pipes to the street before. I wish i had the sellers phone number.

They sent a notary to my house to sign everything so i never went to any official closing and met the guy.
I have a totally fenced in gated driveway yard. Yet my little dog has escaped 3 times. I have no hope of getting him walking so slow and still with a cane. I should probably still be using a walker , but i never brought it from the other house.

My son is my only helper and he seems to have some disease or something wrong that is causing him to be fatigued, he keeps falling asleep on me. We still have so much to do at the other house. I have only packed what was in the dishwasher. A few other things from the kitchen too.
My sister in law was here for a few days to i got little done then and the day before Tim goes to school morning and night. We had to get trash out at the old house and the new house and that kept him busy. he is not a worker bee that is for sure. My daughter is better , but we unpacked here this morning and now she is off to work, and now i have to wait for the plumber. Meanwhile, Tim has fallen asleep! OMG and my ex never answered my pleas for help.

So he gets left with the mess. I have left lots of dirt, some furniture that doesn't fit and a lot of trash. I told him not to wait until the last minute, but he said he can't get there until Sunday . I told him he has lots to do and he will be sorry.

You can write anytime , even though i have lots to do, i can't do much at a time and my back just gets too tired to stand up anymore. So i must sit and usually go to my computer.

But the dogs have spent lots of time enjoying the fenced in yard. The bigger dog has no problem staying in. I fixed the first 2 spots my dog got out of , but i will have to fix the next. If the guy that built the shed comes back to get his mess, i'm sure he will, i'll have him fix the front people gate. I think that was his last escape route.

My younger daughter has refused to come and live here. She came one night when she couldn't find anywhere to sleep, but one night she did stay at the house alone. There is still a day bed in there that jeff is taking. He is also getting the place cleaned. He said he was going to go halves on the moving costs, but every time i ask him to talk about money, he does not reply. He first said tomorrow, but tomorrow never came.

I still think i should have progressed more with my back. I think part of it is the really low dose of painkiller. I can't catch a break , so it is difficult to stand up at all. In the middle of the night, things hurt so i am not sleeping well either. Only for a few hours. Last night i was up 3 times. I don't see my surgeon for 2 more weeks , it should have been one, but the receptionist made a mistake and made it 5 weeks instead of 4 , i tried to change it by phone and she said he had no openings. Bullshit ! if i saw him and he said 1 week, somehow there would be openings.

It is supposed to be a hot week and no air here or in my car. I will be a mess. Or maybe hanging out somewhere air conditioned. I think i am going to have to spend a lot of money on plumbing or i would get estimates on air conditioning.
well i think i will unpack another bag of clothes now that i had my kids put my bedroom furniture where it belongs.
Let me know how you are doing
judy

[Maria]

Hey Judy,
Just thought to look and see if you replied! duh!
Went on bus trip with Italian American club from here at Laguna Woods on Sunday to LA Italian American Cultural Center celebrating Christopher Colombus day and had a great time even danced after 2 little glasses of wine tho the bus trip trashed my back. Very bumpy tho glad it was just an hour back and forth. I stood alot during the speeches given at the cultural center.

Today I hurt my upper t spine lifting a 20lb bag of dog food into the car. I have been having some tspine discomfort around the bra area tho this is higher.. and actually it bothered my cervical area too. Stupid me. I swear I can't seem to stop doing things that trash my body in some manner or another but who else is there to do stuff for me but me!

I'll need to hire someone to do some things around here tho just small changes since I've gotten some of the bills from my foot surgery and I know more is coming. So far near $500 to pay. Thankfully at least I'm here and not paying rent right now and many other bills like cable and a parking space and all the other things that were over and above my rent.

I am spending too much on groceries tho lately since I've been going to the local Trader Joes that's close by way too regularly. The Laguna Hills Mall is very close by too which is also not good for me since I've popped over there a few times and done some clothes shopping when I already have too many clothes to even anywhere near fit into my closets in a 2 BR place with plenty of closet space! In fact the guest bedroom is sitting still half full of boxes and probably will stay that way since I don't feel like unpacking anymore!

As far as walking Lola goes coyotes are a serious threat here to small animals so walking Lola isn't as pleasurable as it should be in such a nice area. In fact I saw 3 coyotes today and it was daytime not even dusk or early morning! They are getting very brazen as I imagine they're very hungry.

My one cat that is still alive, Alaska, is driving me nutz crying so much at night when she wants me to come to bed. And I've still not gotten a bed frame of any sort so my old futon mattress is on the floor and I sleep on that. I think my back felt great the few nights I slept on my old mattress that I gave my husband to put in his house. That's when I thought I was going to be going there more. I still have so much stuff over there and my Mom's china is there and I definately want that tho I don't drive hardly even down the street here so don't know how I'm ever going to get stuff if he doesn't bring it to me!

Sorry to hear about your water leak problem. Water damage for whatever reason is one of the biggest probs with home ownership and something that no matter how well we go over the inspection papers sometimes can come out of nowhere. It sucks for sure.

I still haven't gotten reimbursed for the damage done by the leaking water heater here that damaged the laminate flooring I had put into the guest bedroom. I'm supposed to get $510 but they are so freaking slow here about it. I'm going to have to check and see what's going on with that as it's been a few weeks now and I turned in everything they asked for re paperwork.

I better get to bed as my neck, tspine and low back are hurting and my hairdresser is coming tomorrow to color and cut my hair!

oh re your son do you think he has Eipstein Barr virus by any chance? He should get tested or be seen soon I'd think if he's that tired or falling asleep that much unless he's not really sleeping at night. Sorry about your younger daughter. Where will she stay if she's not going to live with you? I hope she comes around and will move there too. That's got to be worrying you sick.

Ok gotta get off my tush and hit the sack! Take care and don't overdo (yeah sure who am I to talk!)!!!

[jsewell]

Hi Maria
Are you lifting properly with your legs and not your back. I asked my doc at my 1 week after apt when i could start lifting, he said with my back, NEVER.
My legs are not really strong enough to get up from a squat so i have to work on that.
I am really trying to be good. But my son is really lazy. I just went to target,my first time out alone since July.
Actually my younger daughter came here last night to move in and she came and lifted the heavy stuff that she picked out. She and Tim carried it in.While we were gone i asked him to take Buddy out, put my clean laundry in my room, empty the dishwasher. None of it was done. He claimed our neighbors came by with my grandmothers old singer which missed the move and he didn't have time. I'm sure they were here for 5 whole minutes.
So i took the dog out, put my laundry in my room and need to empty the dishwasher . Becka is here , but mad as can be and she won't do a thing except complain. She wouldn't even pick out some food for her self at Target to tide her self over until i get real grocery shopping done.

WE have been here a week now and my rent ended yesterday at the old house. It is a mess, but all for jeff to deal with. It has a dryer , some other furniture which i told him to call Habitat for Humanity as they pick stuff up. But he waited until the last minute to even get to the house, so he must have made some deal with the old landlord to have extra time. He keeps texting me saying, we have to etc. I told himj what he needed to do and that i was totally done with the place. I left some pots and pans that i would have liked to have, but Tim was too lazy to get them so , I am just done. Then he was nice and asked me if i wanted any of them. I told him he would have to come get me and then i could decide when he got them out, no reply to that one.

I had my sister in law visit for 2 days at the end of last week so that kind of slowed us down a bit, but i welcomed the diversion. She did help at the house packing up some kitchen stuff which was nice. Then we showed her China town and had lunch there. She is Chinese. Has been married to my brother and living here for 9 years.

I decided to go back to my one night a week job tonight. DrFriedman emailed me a few times saying they missed me. So i told him a few weeks ago that this was my goal day to get back. My back is still needing the support of a cane to try to stand up straight. Those back muscles are taking a long time to recover.

I met my new pain management doctor yesterday. He seems very knowledgeable. He is the only doctor of mine that bothered to have me get my liver and kidneys tested after being on percocet for 4 years. He wants me to try to get off it. So he is giving me 30mg of Ms Contin twice a day and one percocet per day. I sure hope this works. I am used to taking them every 4 to 6 hours during the day and not at all at night which means i wake up miserable throughout the night. I need to get to Sierra Madre to get the prescription filled and try his program. I already got permission from him to call him if it isn't working. I took MS Contin in the past , but can't remember what dose i was on. I was also allowed to take percocet every 4 hours as needed. This will be different.
I thought i had weaned myself down pretty good. I used to take 20mg of percs as one dose and went down to 10 only 4 times a day. Sometimes only 3. But i guess these doctors want me off it soon.

My older son in Ga got all suicidal with me. So he is a great source of worry. He is very depressed and needs to turn himself into the army. He now was advised by his attorney to turn himself into a hospital VA or civilian. He hasnt received the message yet because his phone broke and i think he is waiting to get a new one.

WE really dont have that many boxes to unpack. I have only my winter long sleeve clothes to get out of one bag and another unknown bag of clothes. So not much at all. I threw out so much or donated it. It was horrible not being able to do anything at all though. I have unpacked my stuff that is about it.
I love shopping at Trader Joes too. I dont mind my kids eating their frozen food as it is all preservative and color free and that is the way i started out raising my kids. Got a little slack with the last 2, i was overwhelmed with no help from you know who.
I'll let you know how working tonight goes.
You stop doing too much.
Judy