Apology

[dridobits]

Thanks to those who forgave me and I am sorry. I am finding that as I recover and get off some meds, anger and agression that I have held inside me are coming back up. I don't even want to tell you the note I wrote someone in the parking lot who took up three spaces.

My fusion recovery is going well and unbelievably slow but that's ok. I knew that. I'm now walking 4 times a week at least and started PT. The surgeon said the last xray looks great but I think we all know a good xray and being out of pain are two separate things. But I'm happy with the xray.

The surgeon said I had at least a year I need to recover what with being so out of condition from 15 years of doing nothing. The PT guy said 1 1/2 year. So be it.

My sitting limit seems to be two hours but when I do more I feel a lot the next day. My chemicallly sensitive disc is GONE. That was my goal so I have reached that.

It's a one day at a time game. That's the only way I can take it. I'm also dealing with a questionable mammogram right now 4 years after my recovery. Enough is enough. Thank you for being kind. Sorry again.

[Maria]

A sitting limit of 2 hours~ imagine that?! My sitting limit is probably an hour now without getting up and that's as long as I feel good.

You know I've wondered about my ability to escalate re anger while on meds as it seems that I don't have as good an ability to just chill when I'm in one of my what seems like menopausal moods.. to think it would be worse off meds is kinda scary tho I guess what you're going thru is a temporary phase and with that I wish you the best. Sometimes I have to keep to myself when I'm in a real mood or else I might be shot by someone for what comes out of my mouth!

Your walking sounds great too and I'm glad you've updated us and please don't worry about however you think you may have offended someone. I'm sure we all have thin skins here at one time or another just by nature of what we deal with in terms of our own lives however as adults we should be able to realize what is going on and just shrug it off or at least not take it as a dagger to the heart.

May your recovery continue to progress and please keep us updated as able

[dshobbies]

Two things come to mind right now. First, when my husband is sick, for some reason, he get's angry easily. Under normal circumstances he's one of the most calm people anyone knows so anger isn't a part of him. Looking for something in the fridge, it had the audacity to close while he was still there and the outburst was something to see. When life disappoints us, we deal with it. When family and friends disappoint us, we deal with it. When our bodies disappoint us and the fix is non-existant for far away, we have no where to turn. A mounting frustration turns to anger which when turned inward, is depression.

Currently, add to this is a questionable mammo! Having a recent 'scare' myself, I know this is all consuming, especially given your personal history. Your back, quite a major crisis in your life, takes a back seat.

So, how do you cope? First, take it one day at a time. Even if your back takes too long to heal, you are moving forward, no longer stagnant. Then, just as you dealt with it before, you'll deal with whatever else comes your way - getting through each day by concentrating on the day at hand. Suffering - yes. Needless - yes. Doable - yes.

And look, just yesterday we were wishing everyone happy holidays and it's already February! At this rate, Thanksgiving is just around the corner

My best to you, Dale

[nomorepain]

just remember why we are all here, there isn't a one of us that would disagree with you, thats why this site is so valuable to us spineys! most of us understand how it is both physically and mentally to get off one or more drugs, our clouded minds, and the physical issues,etc.
now your recovery, we all heal at different times- look at my posts, i was out of 2level prodisc surgery and at 3mos i watched mark and another spiney play tennis ,i thought i'd never be in that boat. My recovery seemed like it was at a snails pace compared to others on this site. I was off of work almost 3years due to it. And as luck would have it, i am able to play tennis,water ski and even joined a bowling league, so not all is lost. Just listen to your body, and remember we all have those days!

[Katie]

One of my favourite mantras is this: Be gentle, be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a difficult battle. And you have had one of the most difficult battles of all.

I'm so glad that things are starting to look up for you. Keep looking up, keep looking forward, my friend.

[Maria]

I'm sorry I didn't address in previous reply because I know this can be so stressful as I've had one of these as well and in fact I've had mammos every 6 months to a year since I was 28 because of surgery done back when I was 23.

I have what is known as "nightmare breasts" with much fibrocystic breast tissue which makes the mammo sometimes difficult to determine what is going on.

I hate that term.. I don't know why they cannot call it something else like "very dense breast tissue or extremely dense breast tissue"...

Anyway hope you will soon know what is going on re the questionable mammo and of course hoping for the absolute best for you which would be nothing going on other than something benign.

[dridobits]

Hi and thank you for all of the words of wisdom. I haven't been online much as I'm starting to work again and have to be so careful of computer time.

Everyone had so many valid things that really have helped me. I realize I need to fill out the forms as to my surgery progress. It's now about five months and in a way it feels like yesterday.

The hardest part is not pushing it. You feel good, you want to do things, you get excited.....

Even on my worst days I never regret having the surgery. I am just so antsy to get going again and I have to drill it in my head that my recovery is paramount to everything else.

Thanks everyone for their wisdom and kindness.