todays funny

[teetee007]

Body Statistics

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).


The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.


Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.


A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.


There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.


Women blink twice as often as men.


The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.


Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.


If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.


Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.

[mmglobal]

Email from my friend....


My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in the Hollywood Hills because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren't with her.

The FAA issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rules) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rules) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.

She was really lucky!

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Happy Halloween!

[chasswen]

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)







A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)


The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmmmmm.......)




Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)


A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains..
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)