Now what do I do? Someone slap me PLEASE!

[kc0iet]

Hi All,

I am new to this forum, but not others. I just posted my story in the surgical outcomes thread a few days ago.

I have managed to keep my chin up and push on, keeping my sanity and fighting depression without anti-depressants. More medication is something that I don't want! I have managed to do this by returning to college. I have pushed myself beyond what anyone thought I could. I have only two more classes before completion of my Bachelor's degree. I am scheduled to graduate Suma Cum Laude (4.0 GPA) in May. This weekend has forced me to realize that I can not finish my two classes. I am in so much pain that I can't do it. I can't complete my studies when I am in this much pain. The combination of Oxycontic, Percacet and Dilaudid at least knocks me out for a few hours but it does not allow me to complete my assignments. Tomorrow, I am going to have to drop my classes.

I am setting her now with two assignments due at midnight. Trying not to take anything else so that I can complete the quizzes but I am in so much pain that my eyes are filled with tears and it's like looking through a water glass! I am on fire, but there is not enough water in the house to put the fire out.

I have been trying for three weeks to get an appointment (with anyone) that might be able to provide me with options, but nothing. I received a post card from the only doctor that I have telling me (with a smiley face) that my films looked good when I would guess that most any of us patients would know better (New Films) .

I have survived since quickly changing from an active, productive member of society to a useless wheelchair bound dependent by having a plan and reaching for a goal but now my plans are crushed and I feel as there is nothing I can do about it.

Now what do I do......... thanks for letting me vent.