My House is a Mess

[chiku]

I don't have a husband, but I understand about the mess. I have 2 sons, 12 and 13, they do try to help. But my house is still a mess, bending and standing are a nightmare. After working all day teh last thing I want to do is come home and clean.

[Maria]

It reached an all time high. I went to visit my aunt and uncle in LA. They have a long standing friend who has a house in their beautiful area of LA and he is a hoarder.

So after my aunt showed his house and van that he lives out of cuz he can't fit himselft into his house


Since I got back to my city I've had the energy to clean and re arrange things. My space is loking much better. I needed a kick in the pants (mental). Still have to limit myself re what I can do. Young people can do more than old people (myself).

[jsewell]

thanks for your comments Shebo and Chiku. I got it looking ok or lets just say a little better, i don't know why. It is trashed again. I guess with 5 other people living here (my kids and husband) what can i expect. I spoiled them all for years when i could go to work, run in the predawn hours and just do everything. Now i'm lucky if i can get myself moving for a few hours. Then my priority is to take enough pain meds so i can hike up my trail for a few hours. I always pay after , but i need to keep moving. No bending though and that is the most painful thing that i need to do.
I do just wish i could get over it though and not be embarrassed!!!
judy

[Maria]

I bend alot. Straight over from the waist as my knees get alot of squatting in as well. I catch myself while bending over from the waist thinking .. uh oh.. better not do this. Often it's more like "uh oh.. that hurt!" Not badly most of the time or I wouldn't do it.

I've been in a straightening out mood since last weekend. Really got busy.

Must admit the grabber has been helpful to pick up things that I know it can reach/grab w/o me needing to "go there." Eliminates a lof of unnecessary bending for me when I remember to use it.

[jsewell]

My muscles are all weak from steroids so i cannot get up from a squat so i do bend from the waist , but try not to just some times i can't stand seeing stuff all over the floor.
I should use my reacher grabber, you sent me a good reminder. I got mine when i had my hip replaced and bending was a definate no no.
judy

[dshobbies]

OK Judy,

Your mess problem sounds like it's been coming on for years. When healthy, you were able and did not train your family to pick up after themselves. Now you are not able to maintain the status quo and your family doesn't care. My advise, get a backbone and make them care. Have a sit-down and tell them the way it's going to be, from now on. No screaming, no sobbing, but, and I don't know the ages of your children, it's time for a little tough love.

I'm always amazed when people expect a different behavior then they taught their families. I love all my grandchildren so much, words fail to describe the delight they bring to my life. One of them doesn't get disciplined as much as he should and his parent's, my son and daughter-in-law, don't understand why he doesn't behave better in public. If he doesn't have to sit at the table until everyone finishes their dinner at home, he won't in a restaurant either. They don't get it.

It's often just easier to do it ourselves and my husband is quite guilty of that same philosophy but now you can't. To retrain your children requires consequences worse than 'the deed'. It also takes time but in my opinion, worth it. As for your husband, it might be too late and in that case, tears absolutely do help.

The future spouses of your children will thank you!

Dale

[jsewell]

thanks Dale you are absolutely correct and i've known this too. You put it all together and it makes so much sense. i think your post will be on my fridge later today.
judy:

[cherylstewart67]

thankfully he knows to ask if something needs to be placed in the dyrer. i have facial nere pain from my cranial nerves; so much stress from the peek cage at c3/4, pain is a daily thing for me. they have tried meds; but some i can't take. seems like i have no life anymore. my true only hope is to have an adr at c6/7! i know the ddd would slow a lot if we did not do any more fusion. i am just not doing well with fusion at all.

[jsewell]

Cheryl i am sorry you are still in pain . I am too, but not from any areas that were actually operated on. My few lumbar discs that are left untouched have decided to act up and cause pain or something in that area. I know the daily pain thing. it is no fun. I manage to take a few hours most days to take those pain meds and go hiking slowly up a mountain. It saves my sanity.
I hope you can find something that you like to give you some stess relief too.
judy