How??

[mary.mary]

HEY!!

Ok, HOW do you do it? HOW do you pull yourself through a day when you have had NO SLEEP due to the PAIN, can barely function due to the PAIN, and yet still have to take care of your certain responsibilities?

TODAY is a HORRIBLE day already and it is only 930am!! I could NOT sleep at all, it was 6am by the time I was actually able to shut my eyes, then at 7am Amiah was awake needing her mommy. Not to mention that I only had 4 hours sleep from the night before.

I don't know how I am going to do it today!! I hurt SO BAD, I am SO TIRED and it is next to impossible to even change a diaper today, let alone play with her, take care of her etc... She cries because I can't pick her up lately to even give her a hug, she doesn't understand ANY of this and it's not fair!! She's already lost one parent, now she's losing me too!!

I KNOW that there are may people out there who are worse off than me but all I am asking is HOW DO YOU DO IT?? I can't take anymore pain meds because then I will be out of commision and my baby girl needs me!!

Today is going to be a TOUGH DAY!!

[Katie]

Mary, I am soooo sorry. I have always thanked the lord above that my back problems hit after my daughters had grown up. I would not have been able to cope at all otherwise.

My only suggestion would be to find some pain meds that don't wipe you out so badly. I went through about six different kinds that almost put me in the hospital from side effects before my PM doctor switched me to short acting Morphine (Statex). It made me a bit drowsy at the beginning, but I can function much better on that than anything else. I certainly would be able to look after a child with it. Driving isn't such a good idea though

That may be your answer. I can't even take long acting morph, as it has almost no effect on me, so I am just up 3 or 4 times a night...have to for bladder problems anyway, so just take the meds at the same time. And it is a very effective drug too.

Hang in there, my dear. It will get better, somehow, someway. Hugs.

[Katie]

Mary, can you call a a friend to look after your beautiful daughter for a few hours while you get some sleep eye?

[Maria]

Mary,
Would Amiah be happy if she were lying on the bed next to you getting cuddled or propped up against a pillow at her back and cuddled into you for attention.

I had no children because of my back problems but I worked with premature infants/babies/maternal child health care/OB-GYN for a good part of my career and there were those days when my back was on the verge of going out and I just couldn't stand to do anything hardly but the one thing that saved me in the nursery was the rocker.. I could rock a baby to sleep or comfort holding them during a feeding or in between feedings and ease some of the pain off my back with this.

I don't know how old Amiah is so this may not work because she's too old like in her toddlerhood stages for which I would strongly suggest seeing if you can get some help with taking care of her as that age is run, run, run and never turning your back as anyone with children knows and the very reason I couldn't have done this beautiful thing myself re having kids.

I'm really sorry to hear about your husband and I hope you will be able to get some help with your daughter tho with every move you make think about your body mechanics in terms of picking her up ~ do it from stool or somewhere that you don't have to bend down so much or put her on the bed and lift her ... (how much does she weigh?)

That was another difficult thing for me was lifting normal weight infants. I had trouble with my niece when she was 2 months old as she wanted to be carried all the time and then if you stood still she would start crying her eyes out so I put her in the infant car seat and would rock that back and forth and back and forth... she would be quiet!

Adaptations as your daughter grows as she will get heavier and you're going to have to think about how you can handle picking her up as you mentioned and holding her, dressing her and so forth.

BTW, have you seen a good Pain Management doctor? I don't know if pain meds and caring for an infant go hand in hand.. I kinda think not but then again if you cannot get out of bed to function hardly that's even worse...

Ok, Mary.. I know this is really difficult and I surely wish that whatever needs to be done re your spine is going to be taken care of, authorized, assisted by some modality because I know you must be in a great deal of physical pain and also emotional anguish re the proper care of your daughter.

Cyber hug...

[New-disc]

Marry,

I feel your pain, my little one was born 6 months after my injury.

It's hart breaking every time you can't pick them up.

We built the crib on the floor, that way I was able to change her without lifting.

Like others have said, ask for help. Freinds/family

Hang in!! We're all here for you....

Todd

[mary.mary]

THANK YOU!! Katie and Maria for the advice..

Amiah is now 13 months old and at her 1 yr appt she weighed 22 lbs. She is a VERY active, well behaved little angel. She has finally started to take steps, but is clingy, which I guess is to be expected since it is just me taking care of her anyways.. I just changed my pic, that was a pic of her and daddy. I MISS HIM SOOOOO MUCH!!

I am an emotional rollercoaster today!! Just when I thought I was strong!!!

I am VERY thankful to all of you who have given their time to listen to me, give me advice and generally just be there, I don't think you understand how much this means to me. God pointed me into the direction of this Forum for a reason and I am THANKFUL for that!!

As for a Pain Management doctor, I have not even been referred to one yet, in fact my doctor didn't even think I needed anything, it was the doctor in the ER that gave me what I have now, and even that I don't want to take too much of because a) Amiah is still breastfed in the morning and at night, b) I can't get too drowsy because I am the only one here with her.

Well, she has just climbed onto the couch with me and is looking at me like ' are you going to feed me lunch?'

Thanks again!!
Mary

[fuzzy]

Is there anyway someone local can give you some help to take care of your kid so you can get rest or just not have to do certain things until you know more about your problem? If I could walk next door to help you out a little I would do it but I am probably too far away!

[Terry Allen Blackburn]

How did your husband die? I am so sorry for you. You will need to find a good pain management doctor, let him know that you are nursing and, don't wait for a referral. The doctor you are going to now does not seem sensitive to your pain levels. I live in rural Michigan and we have pain clinics up here so I know that they are very prevalent. I am including the following article to show that there is an alternative for you:
Pregnant or Breastfeeding? Buprenorphine, Suboxone, Subutex or Methadone - Safe for Baby and Mom?
Please do not mistake that I am calling you an addict. I am only making the correlation of the use of certain drugs that are known to be safer with women in pregnancy or after delivery. According to this article, Methadone is the preferred choice of medication to use when a woman is pregnant and the mother is addicted to opiates. How this applies to you is that Methadone can be a very good pain reliever. It is very important that you see a competent pain management program as the dosing of Methadone for pain is tricky and needs to be done carefully. Methadone is a long acting opiate that requires infrequent dosing which may be better for you while nursing. If you need any further assistance please let us know. Hang in there and we are all pulling for you. God be with you and your baby.

Terry Newton