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Old 01-26-2009, 06:19 AM
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Default Do you regret surgery? Vote

For those of you who've had surgery; are you glad you did it or regret it?
Which type? Fusion or ADR
Which type of fusion or ADR?
At what spine level?
How long ago?
What finally convinced you to decide to do it? (optional).

I've been doing the research have a good idea of the pros and cons, but was curious as to what the numbers show. In about 5 weeks, I fear I may need to make a decision and I'm on the fence.

I don't know whether anyone has actually been keeping tabs, but I'll track all the responses and make them available for everyone to see (no name will be included, just the answers from above questions.
__________________
DDD L3-L5
L5 Radiculopathy
2002: Bag lifting/chiro injury
2008: Slip & Fall in 2008
2002-08: 11 epidurals: L3 to S1
2003: L4-L5 Nuceloplasty
2004: L3-L4 Nucleoplasty
Dec 2008: Begin Functional Restoration Program
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Old 01-26-2009, 03:34 PM
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Default

Quote:
For those of you who've had surgery; are you glad you did it or regret it?
Which type? Fusion or ADR
Which type of fusion or ADR?
At what spine level?
How long ago?
What finally convinced you to decide to do it? (optional).
1) Glad (even after reading about bad outcomes and still on meds, still w/pain)
2) ADR, Prodisc-C, Germany
3) C3-4, C4-5, C5-6, C-6-7
4) April 7, 2008
5) Fusion vs ADR vs Wait w/more Pain Meds (taking chance that bone density/age would make ADR impossible and might incur permanent cord/nerve damage)
__________________
**Accidents, active life-style, always some back/neck pain controlled w/ibuphrofen
2004 excessive pain, x-ray, PT, MRI diagnosis cervical DDD
**PM recommended, meds, PT, massage therapy, chiropractor, injections
**Dec. 2007 numbness and weakness in left arm/thumb, x-rays, MRI, discs at C4-7 pushing on spinal cord, fusion or ADR out of country
**April 7, 2008, discogram at C3-4, surgery 4 levels, Prodisc-C, Dr. Bertagnoli, Germany
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:13 PM
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Glad I had surgery, also adding % because I'm not, nor likely will I ever be 100%, so my success rate is about 65-70%.
ADR, Prodisc, 3 level, S1/L3
Oct, 2005
I had no life, just sat in a zero gravity chair, all day, everyday. Couldn't even eat at the table with my family. 3-level fusion was contra-indicated.

Dale
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3 level Prodisc adr S1-L3, Oct 12, 2005
Dr. B in Bogen, Germany
Severe nerve damage in left leg, still working on it
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:25 PM
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Default regrets

I regret I had my 2nd discectomy but that regret is so long buried that I hardly ever feel the emotional pain that I did after it failed so badly long ago.

Sooner or later I was bound to do something at that 2nd level (L4) and I guess there could have been other surgeons, other outcomes and so on so forth but that's all just hindsight for me.
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:16 PM
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glad i had my surgery
l-5/l-6
dr bertagnoli
aug 2006
__________________
ddd 1990
2003 mri,xrays,shots,emg
2004 discogram ouch pos l4 l5
facet block neg
lost all appeals BCBS 5 months of that
3 surgeons later
surgery with dr. bertagnoli aug 2nd 2006 in Bogen Germany Successfully ProDisc-L L-4 L-5
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Old 01-26-2009, 09:57 PM
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Default

very glad that I had surgery
Prestige ST at c5/6
January 24, 2008
precipitant was increasing weakness with the threat of permanent nerve damage; I was also concerned about osteopenia and age that would preclude me from having ADR if I waited too long and, although a neurologist announced that I could live without looking up, I was tired of the pain, the limited range of movement, the other symptoms and spending a good percentage of my time in physical therapy
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:20 PM
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Default

Glad
L4-L5-S1 Charite
6.5 years
I was 5 years into constant spine problems, 3 years into disability and constant meds... 2 years into high dose opiates, neurontin, AD's., no life
__________________
1997 MVA
2000 L4-5 Microdiscectomy/laminotomy
2001 L5-S1 Micro-d/lami
2002 L4-S1 Charite' ADR - SUCCESS!
2009 C3-C4, C5-C6-C7, T1-T2 ProDisc-C Nova
Summer 2009, more bad thoracic discs!
Life After Surgery Website
President: Global Patient Network, Inc.
Founder: www.iSpine.org
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Old 01-27-2009, 07:40 AM
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For those of you who've had surgery; are you glad you did it or regret it?
I regret the decompression surgery that messed up the ADR
Which type? Fusion or ADR
Prodisc L4-S1
How long ago?
14 months ago for the prodiscs, 8 months ago for the decompression
What finally convinced you to decide to do it? (optional).
I was in horrible pain, thinking horrible thoughts and in bed most of the time.
I am able to do more now with the help of drugs but quality of life is still pretty bad. I am hoping the revision surgery will help.
__________________
Cervical fusion C4-6 March 2002
Fall on tailbone causing sciatica and back pain April 05
Conservative Treatment and PM for 2 years
Discogram concordant pain @L4-S1 Aug. 07
Prodisc ADR's at L4-S1 November 2007
Foraminotomy July 08 for Sciatica
Continued problems and back pain worsened
Prodiscs removed and discs fused at L4-S1 Feb. 09
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Old 01-28-2009, 07:11 PM
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Thumbs up another positive here

GLAD
i'd do it again in a heart beat!
I'm the Prodisc Poster Boy :---)
2 level one of the first in Cali, Trials, 2002
__________________
After a botched spinal tap where my L4/L5 disc exploded i underwent a laminectomy in 1979, and ran from spinal surgery ever since, then in 2002 i met DrDelamarter in Santa Monica- and my life as i knew it changed dramatically, I consider myself the "ProdiscPosterBoy" I am in the US Trials and one of the first in California to recieve 2 Lumbar Prodiscs, nomorepain-nomoremeds
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Old 01-28-2009, 11:05 PM
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Hi Phylly hope you revision surgery helps you

I have no regrets about surgery I am not pain free.
I take 2 Tramadol, 300mg Pregablin Co odymol x 6, and Voltarol x 3 a day.

I sometimes have bad pain but generally is getting better. Its is not as bad as it was, meaning I can go back to work which is brilliant news, but I am unconfident and struggling at times, hoping I can make it as it is a high pressured job (and I am the breadwinner!!) marion

Marion.

Last edited by marion; 03-25-2009 at 11:27 PM.
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Old 01-29-2009, 01:53 AM
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Thanks so much. I do not expect to be pain free but 75% would be great. I hope I am not expecting too much, I am a wreck. Dr. Regan was great but I am still thinking of going local. May the force be with me.
Phylly
__________________
Cervical fusion C4-6 March 2002
Fall on tailbone causing sciatica and back pain April 05
Conservative Treatment and PM for 2 years
Discogram concordant pain @L4-S1 Aug. 07
Prodisc ADR's at L4-S1 November 2007
Foraminotomy July 08 for Sciatica
Continued problems and back pain worsened
Prodiscs removed and discs fused at L4-S1 Feb. 09
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Old 01-31-2009, 04:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racergaldar View Post
For those of you who've had surgery; are you glad you did it or regret it?
Which type? Fusion or ADR
Which type of fusion or ADR?
At what spine level?
How long ago?
What finally convinced you to decide to do it? (optional).
1. Glad
2. 4 level ADR
3. C5/C6; C6/C7 Prestige Disc; L4/L5; L5/S1 Maverick Disc
4. Surgery done at Stenum Hospital November 4th, 2006

What finally forced me to do it was my Board of Directors literally kicked me off of the property of where I work. They told me to get myself fixed and bring the old me back to the place. I was trying to wait for my lawsuit to settle so I could be guaranteed that it would be paid for. After it was done, not only did it get paid for by the lawsuit but, it also got completely covered by the insurance company. I was truly blessed and fortunate. My quality of life was horrible pre-surgery. I walked with a cane for almost a year. I was getting extremely limited in my capabilities.

No Regrets!

Terry Newton
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1980 ruptured L4-L5
1988 ruptured SI-L5
1990 ruptured C5-C6
1994 ruptured C6-C7
1995 Hemi-Laminectomy C5-C6, C6-C7 Mayo Clinic
Bicycle Accident 2004
MRI, EMG, Facet Injections, Epidural Blocks, Lumbar Discogram.
Stenum Hospital Surgery November 4, 2006
Prestige Disc C5-C6, C6-C7
Maverick Disc S1-L5, L4-L5
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Old 01-31-2009, 06:06 PM
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For those of you who've had surgery; are you glad you did it or regret it?
I'm glad I did it.

Which type?
ADR, ProDisc, 2-level lumbar

How long ago?
5 years and 2.5 months

What finally convinced you to decide to do it? (optional).
I was bed-ridden for close to a year (23 years old). My quality of life was horrible... I couldn't do "easy" things like tie my own shoes, go to the movies, be in one position (standing, sitting) for > 20 minutes, needed assistance showering, etc.
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-Justin
1994 Football Injury
1997 Snow Skiing Injury
Laminotomy L4/L5 (3.7.97--17 years old)
1999 & 2003 MVA (not at fault both times)
Grade V Tears L4/L5 & L5/L6
2-Level ProDisc® L4/L5 & L5/L6* *lumbosacral transitional vertebra (11.15.03--23 years old)
Dr. Rudolf Bertagnoli -- dr-bertagnoli.com
Pain-free for the last 4.5 yrs.
5.14.09 DSS with Dr. B.
I'm here to help. Only checking PMs currently.
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Old 01-31-2009, 06:18 PM
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Hello,

Yes, Glad I had ADR surgery

Maverick disc L4-L5

Surgery performed ( 10-19-07 )

My only regret = waiting to long before having
surgery. ( doctors in Maine had me doomed )

Todd
__________________
Stenum Hospital * Germany

Surgery 10-19-07 ( L4-L5 Maverick disc )

For my true life story ...

go to -----> www.youtube.com

print -----> ADR surgery into the space bar

or ... http://www.maverick-disc.blogspot.com (my picture & movie updates)
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:52 AM
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I'm glad I did it-regret what brought me to it!
Prodisc ADR at L4-5
Done 2 years, 4 months ago
I was in extreme pain, and my only options were fusion or ADR. At my age, (only 27 at the time) I didn't want to start a chain reaction up my spine leaving me immobile by 60! I figured that if ADR failed, the level could be fused without removing the disc, leaving me no farther behind than going straight to fusion. I have my life back, even though I still have about 20-25% of the pain. It's still worth it for what drastic improvement I did get- and ask me if I'm happy 7 years and 8 months from now when I don't have adjacent level degeneration!
__________________
Herniated disc lifting at age 19
Laminectomy at L4-5 in 1998, repeat in 2001 same level
13 docs, 9 PT's, 8 Epidurals, 3 trigger point inj, 1 Facet Block, 1 Acupuncturist, 3 Chiros and 1 child later, had L4-5 ProDisc placed 9-19-06 by Dr. Janssen in Denver, CO. Facet rhizo March, 2007, November 2007, January 2009
Had healthy baby boy #2 in Dec 2008 with use of some meds during pregnancy and nursing.
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:52 PM
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I'm glad I had surgery.

ProDisc @ 3 levels: L 3-4, L4-5, L5-6

Two years ago in April 2007, by Dr. Bertagnoli, in Bogen Germany.

I was in horrible pain. My quality of life was more than compromised. I spent that Christmas before surgery in the hospital, due to horrific pain levels.

Cindylou
__________________
bicycle accident 6/01: 2 compression fractures @ T12-L1; vertibroplasty; 4/06: right hip labral tear & arthroscopic repair; 4/07: lumbar prodiscs @ 3 levels, L3-6 by Dr. Bertagnoli; 7/02/08: ALIF L6-S1; 7/30/08: reopened to remove bone cement, leaked onto S1 nerve root; 8/08: pulmonary embolism, double pneumonia, collapsed left lung, pleurisy, pleural effusion; ALIF fusion complete; 3/10/09: SI Joint Fusion by Dr. Stark; Jury still out.

Last edited by Cindylou; 03-21-2009 at 03:40 PM. Reason: correction
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Old 02-03-2009, 04:39 AM
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Default Wow! Keep them coming

thanks everyone for posting your responses and please keep them coming. I'm sure there are several people out there who are/were wondering the same and they will find this very helpful.

The reason why I asked, is that WC denied the last four weeks of my functional Restoration Program (yes, I know I owe a status report). Currently tried to get the denial overturned and should have an idea by the end of the week. If not, then I'll have to decide whether I can live like this forever or have surgery and have a chance of a normal life or still be in pain.

Stay tuned!
__________________
DDD L3-L5
L5 Radiculopathy
2002: Bag lifting/chiro injury
2008: Slip & Fall in 2008
2002-08: 11 epidurals: L3 to S1
2003: L4-L5 Nuceloplasty
2004: L3-L4 Nucleoplasty
Dec 2008: Begin Functional Restoration Program
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Old 03-21-2009, 03:34 PM
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Default Reply

Which type? ADR prodisc Nova

At what spine level? C4/5,C5/6,6/7

How long ago? As of this posting, 3 weeks ago (2/26/09) w/ Dr Bertagnoli Bogen, Germany

What finally convinced you to decide to do it? ....I was in really bad pain most evenings, painl evel 7-8. Even with meds, still in soe pain. It was taking away my social life and even sapping my will to live as living became about surviving each day.Had weird below the waste symptoms that dogged me also.

ANyways, at this time I am only 3 weeks post op but very pleased with results so far. All of my old pre op pain and symptoms are 100% gone! AMAZING!! Just having some surgery type pain now(feels more like inflamation) which I expect will subside over time. Im able to be off pain meds at 3 weeks post op and been doing treadmill and comfortably getting out and about, but I have a pain level 3 if I do, so I generally still prefer to take a little meds most days till I am further into my recovery.
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Old 03-22-2009, 12:20 AM
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[quote=racergaldar;6070]For those of you who've had surgery; are you glad you did it or regret it?
Which type? Fusion or ADR
Which type of fusion or ADR?
At what spine level?
How long ago?
What finally convinced you to decide to do it? (optional).


1. I am glad I did the surgery!
2. ADR L4/5
3. June 10, 2008
4. Although the pain was of course the first issue I really wanted some of my life back (no pun intended).

Paul
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Old 04-16-2009, 12:06 AM
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For those of you who've had surgery; are you glad you did it or regret it?
Glad
Which type? ADR
Which type Prodisc
At what spine level? l4-s1
How long ago? Feb 2008
What finally convinced you to decide to do it? Constant pain all conservative treatments failed, pain meds didn't work, felt desperate
__________________
44 Year Old, mom of 3
DDD - l4-s1- woke up Feb 2005 and couldn't walk
Tried PT, Injections, Accupuncture, drugs, etc.
2 level Prodisc ADR L4-S1, Feb. 18, 2008 Dr. Bertagnoli - Straubing, Germany - SUCCESS -

Now I struggle with Neck Pain likely c5-7
PT, injections, rhizotomy.......MRI and CT Myleo not consistent with pain symptoms, waiting that out, keeping my passport valid
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:50 AM
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Default hi there,

cost of plastic surgery procedures
see information all about surgeries..
plastic@cosmetic surgery
orthopedic surgery
weight loss surgery
cancer surgery
vision surgery
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Find out all about plastic surgery at Surgery.com.

Last edited by nikfavors08; 01-16-2013 at 09:53 AM.
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Old 05-13-2013, 05:51 AM
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Thumbs up going on 11 years post op

hi there, some of you from way back know me as nomorepain, it's been forever since my last visit that i couldn't figure out how to reactivate my account so waaaalaaaa i'm back. i am in july 11 yrs post op from my 2 level prodisc surgery in the medical study here in california. I still consider myself lucky, i am a success story.it's been a true blessing not to have the back pain i once had as Mark knows even my recovery was long.I would in a instant go through the surgery if it were presented again. now mind you when I went in for surgery, i wasn't sure if i'd wake up with the implants or a fusion, I'm happy with my results
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:25 AM
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Default Hi,

I wish you the best with getting back into the work environment. Chronic pain can really create an additional challenge to working at a regular job let alone a high pressure job.

I admire your efforts!


Quote:
Originally Posted by marion View Post
Hi Phylly hope you revision surgery helps you

I have no regrets about surgery I am not pain free.
I take 2 Tramadol, 300mg Pregablin Co odymol x 6, and Voltarol x 3 a day.

I sometimes have bad pain but generally is getting better. Its is not as bad as it was, meaning I can go back to work which is brilliant news, but I am unconfident and struggling at times, hoping I can make it as it is a high pressured job (and I am the breadwinner!!) marion

Marion.
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Old 11-17-2013, 05:56 PM
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Default surgeries

L5S1 discectomy 1989= glad
L4 percutaneous discectomy 1992= regretted big time for a long time re super failed outcome and lingering symptoms till about 2005

Other surgeries were recommended including 3 level global fusion, 2 level ADR, and hybrid surgery with ADR and fusion. I started to feel better around the time the last surgery was authorized and feared getting set back to anything like the level of pain I dealt with post L4 surgery.

I am glad to date I've had no more back surgery and am doing at least as well as I am spine wise. Daily pain med once/day and injection of Toradol occasionally for neck/back flare ups does wonders for me these days.
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Old 07-19-2014, 04:04 PM
vnf vnf is offline
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Default not sure

I just joined here so I wanted to vote as well.

Since my M6L has to be removed already and barely made 2 years with it,
My obvious vote is yes, I regret it.
$34,000 was a lot of money to spend for the length of time I got out of it.
I personally think the lumbar should be fused but I like that Zeegers uses clamps and not screws. If my cervicals need something, I would get ADR. The cervicals seem to do better when the proper doctor does them. Just my take on it.
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Old 07-19-2014, 07:54 PM
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Default No regrets for me.

I wonder why you only got 2 years out of your M6L. I wonder what is actually gone wrong with it. Maybe I need to read more of the thread.

You still need to know what your pain generators are. You need to determine if you have nerve pain, muscle pain or mechanical pain. Depending on the surgeon, they typically only care about the nerve pain. If they fix your mechanical or muscle pain in the process... it is only icing on the cake.

Be very careful. I don't regret surgery, having said that, I am disabled and my back is pretty much useless when it comes to physical activity. I take Lyrica for chronic pain in my legs and back. Somehow, I developed a sort of burning aching pain in my legs and back that gets unbarable with activity. The Lyrica helps a lot. But having said that, I get intense MECHANICAL pain in my lower back with increased activity. I have had four lumbar surgeries, 3 of which were fusions. One fusion was a re-do. I have degenerative changes above those areas. My muscles in my lower back are very weak and my right quadraceps is noticably smaller than the left from nerve damage.

So, I don't regret surgery. But in my younger years, I wish I was more respectful of my physical body and its limitations. A quote from my good friend who is a back surgeon, "There is no such thing as sports medicine when it comes to back surgery." You get one shot at taking care of it so take care of it good : ).

I have tried all sorts of therapy. Best therapy is getting in a pool up to your neck in water and walking. Move your body... especially the parts of it that are still working. Swing your arms and march like a soldier. Increase your range of motion as you can tolerate it. This will work your core muscles and circulate the blood. It will improve sleep. It takes a lot of different things to make yourself feel better. And, you very likely might have to re-define what will be your new normal with regards to physical activity. Do I regret surgery, "No." But, do I want another surgery? No fricken way do I want to have another surgery! You can't keep hacking on the same spot in you lower back and think everything will be cool. Even if it is an anterior approach.

Sorry if it sounds like I am ranting. Best to you and good luck with your situation. Avoid surgery at all cost.


QUOTE=Vicki_in_Florida;19092]I just joined here so I wanted to vote as well.

Since my M6L has to be removed already and barely made 2 years with it,
My obvious vote is yes, I regret it.
$34,000 was a lot of money to spend for the length of time I got out of it.
I personally think the lumbar should be fused but I like that Zeegers uses clamps and not screws. If my cervicals need something, I would get ADR. The cervicals seem to do better when the proper doctor does them. Just my take on it.[/quote]
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Old 09-19-2015, 02:10 PM
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Hello,

What kind of surgery did you have? ADR? Fusion? When? At what vertebral levels?

Thank you.

cici
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Old 07-26-2016, 11:36 AM
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Guys who are going for a surgery, there are two things that you need to bear in mind
1. Have a thorough knowledge about the procedure and it's success rate.
2. Get a second or third opinion, and find the best surgeon.
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Old 10-14-2016, 07:28 AM
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very happy , 2 level prodiscs L4/5 S1 in the trials 2002 a complete success in my book
I'd do it again
__________________
After a botched spinal tap where my L4/L5 disc exploded i underwent a laminectomy in 1979, and ran from spinal surgery ever since, then in 2002 i met DrDelamarter in Santa Monica- and my life as i knew it changed dramatically, I consider myself the "ProdiscPosterBoy" I am in the US Trials and one of the first in California to recieve 2 Lumbar Prodiscs, nomorepain-nomoremeds

Last edited by nomorepain; 10-14-2016 at 07:31 AM.
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Old 04-16-2017, 04:45 AM
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Yes I regret the outcome. But I had no choice. My position was untenable. But now it is again, more so.

There is such horror, in life.

After 5 operations including adr excision left me with arachnoiditis and extensive nerve damage. I cannot sleep.

The situation wasn't helped by the gross incompetence of one Nicholas Boeree, who inserted the disc way off centre and fed himself and me blatant lies.

But he drove his motorbike into a truck, and I think he may have had a bit on his mind.

But ultimately it does not matter how I got here. I am here, at 34, and that is that. I don't know how I will survive as they refuse to pension me. It will be a hard and lonely life for me.

What I do regret is meeting the one I would have married, one who I loved without condition, and losing her as I was effectively disabled and unable to support her.

What I regret most of all is the time that is lost.

I was disabled by 28. Disabled again in a much worse fashion at 34.

Somewhere in there is 20 years of life, of raising a family, and of loving others and playing a productive role. Of LIFE.

That is what I've missed out on, due to the gross incompetence of surgeons.

I knew all this going in. At 28.

No one deserves that, at that age.

I can't explain what some of my friends did to me. The true friends just left me. Others attacked me, with joyful abandon.

I apologised to Lauren, and I was sorry for what I did. But I loved her with all my heart, and she asked me to wait for her.

And I did not know what those surgeons had done to me then. So I went back out into the world and fought like hell to rebuild, without knowing what was wrong with me. Only knowing that something was wrong.

But I could sleep then, yeah? I didn't have severe nerve damage, and I didn't have to take the massive drug doses with all the horrible psychological effects of lyrica. If I don't take them, I wake up every 15 minutes.

That's what they've done to me. It is criminal. But like all true crimes, they move on, and you live with the consequences forever.

It's not that I regret having the original surgery, as such. I was 28. I had this immense and powerful urge to build a life, and to start a family. I could not do any of that when I was essentially disabled.

So what choice did I have, if I wanted to live?

I think the truth is most people in this situation go through it after 50, and a large percentage end up disabled.

What I regret is what I've missed out on, what I could have given in those 20 years.

When I was 18, they told me I was mentally incompetent and would never become somebody. After I went to them for help. These doctors, they are so grossly foul and incompetent. I fought my way back from that and achieved much, after having to learn horrible lessons such as the poison of 'help'. How people put themselves on a pedestal, above the poor tragics they 'help'. I was friggen 16, for God's sake. They are insane.

So when they finished me permanently, physically, due to their gross incompetence again. Dragged it out of over 5 years. Tortured me with the hope, fixed me, took it away again after 6 months. I was so angry when it turned out their incompetence was never isolated to the spiritual, but to the corporeal as well. And it became so obvious what the history of medicine was, and the horrible things that have been are done to people in the name of it.

But the one thing that was not obvious, was the how or the why, and why I could not stand up after that operation. I suppose I only had a sense that something was wrong, and that Lauren was gone. Yet I achieved so much, in such pain. I took no medication, you see. But now I have entered a grosser disability, the complex one you see a lot on these forums, and few work. Most retire, if they are able.

I am managing to hold onto a phd atm. That will have to end soon. I am good at it, years of development in chemistry and engineering, intellectually I am still somewhat there even with the drugs. I would carve a career out of it easily, if God gave me my capabilities. I cannot return to work. I just can't keep a schedule as I cannot sleep, I am in obvious pain and the lyrica makes me not right in the head. With the ability to sleep and not take drugs, this for me is nothing. I don't mind some functional disability. If I could just sleep and stand up, it'd be ok. Guys like me, at my age, we get sent off to semi-employment. Menial casual work. That's what they've done to me, and where they've sent me in social class.

Do you know after having that friggen disc cut out of me, I ended up running an asphalt plant? It's unheard of you know. Take the burden off me, and I drive forward and achieve. That should have been my future, for 5 or 10 years. Maybe 20? God knows I worked and strived for it.

In the end4 I ended up getting dragged to court after a close friend shit all over me when the massive revision failed a year later. I didn't trust anyone until I gave it 6 months to see if it would hold. Got a house back, some friends - my DOG! A man must be able to look after his dog (I lost her now). Then I trusted everyone, as it was stable. And had it all taken from me. Not knowing what was happening to me, fought it all the way. But mentally breaking down as each operation suceeded then failed. 'I don't burn my bridges, I blow them right up'. I know the truth behind that statement is just that of someone who has sworn they would never go back to their state of illness. It was a pointless act, from a bitter person. I had the operations so I could be with my friends, who I loved. I am not like them. But I have done some wrong things.

I was always so afraid of this, but it is here now. I am sorry for what I did to Lauren. She accepted my apology, cos she never wanted this for me. She wanted me to go on and build elsewhere. and she knew I loved her.

Take care
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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 07-30-2017, 05:06 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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It never ends, does it.

Such a meaningless waste of potential.

Take care.
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 11-06-2017, 06:40 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 14
Default Totally glad

100 percent by Bertagnoli
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