Confused on cause of pain after 3 level cervical ADR ?

[Jarrod]

Giving up,

So depressed that I can't pull my emotions together and my body does not belong to anymore. Thoughts of getting married having children living life all gone! I am certainly not going to bring anyone else down into my dreaded world. I have tried to see some light out there and I just end up getting so upset and anxious that I bring myself more agony by upsetting what ever it is hurting my back. Can't laugh or get nervous or have any type of normal outof control emotions with out a flare up even talking loud and getting excited sets my pain off. So here I am with a flumbly left hand due to the nerve root compression of th c8 nerve root which I feel wi never return and scared to look down too far because of pain and the thought of making things worse! Just give it time, time, time..... If I hear that one more time I'm going to explode. I emailed my dr in Spain and asked if I fly back over there will he do the myleo ct as my neurologist just tells me to wait. Wait for more damage, my symptoms are not normal I have no life and hurt all day. Broken, broken is what I am.. I feel this is my life now and I just can't imagine living like this for another 25 plus years, bymyself, alone and in pain, I'd rather go out so much sooner as this is not a life for anyone. When u can't even have emotions because of aggravation of back pain then why have a life at all. No excitement, no nervousness, no sadness just sit in bed and rot because life as I knew it ( fun, energetic, beautiful etc...) is finished for me. So I'm gonna try and sleep and stay numb which is the safest for me these days!

Jarrod

[dshobbies]

Jarrod,

Have you not read one word we all wrote. There may be relief out there for you but laying in bed and rotting will not get you there. I so understand how you feel, I really do. I'm not just saying that. We all understand and we'll all telling you - get on anti-depressants- NOW, not tomorrow, not next week, NOW.

Go see a pain managment specialist and get your pain under control.

Once you're mentally able to make a plan and when your pain in under control, then we can address what you might want to do on a permanant basis but addressing any of this now when you're not able or willing to grasp the entire picture is non productive.

ANTI-DEPRESSANTS - NOW

A friend felt much as you do. I hounded her until she payed attention. Today, she is 75-100% pain free, depending on the day. She's climbing mountains for peats sake (pun intended). Anti-depressants saved her life which is now so worth living. She is quite happy with her life.

Don't think about this, just do it.

Dale

[jsewell]

Jarrod WHAT DALE SAID

I see you wrote your last entry late at night. Things for me do seem worse at that time also.
On the day before you still had some hope. You can't do this alone right now. you need help and can get it. When i first realized i was far far depressed, i called and made an appointment with my primary care doctor, i told the scheduler what the reason for the visit was and i remember how nice she got and helpful. I had an HMO and they even offered me an appointment in an hour or less. My doctor was wonderful too and i started on meds. that day. They are not instant by any means, but you will know you are getting help. Don't give up you have to do the opposite and fight. you are young and can do this. As one of my doctors has told me go out and be your own general. Research and get the help you need.

First though, what Dale said, get on antidepressants today and let us know that you have. I was in tears reading your last entry. Please, we really do care about you
judy