L5-S1 Charite Revision Surgery 8 day post op

[Blairsara]

Hey everyone
Thanks so much for all of your replies.
To set one thing straight, my brother doesnt live with me. I'm living with my parents and he is in an apartment with his girlfriend. But that doesnt mean he isnt here. He comes over all the time. This week he came over twice, ended up while my mom was out, so I had to pretend I was sleeping while he was here in order to avoid any contact. If he did live here while this was going on I dont even know what I would do. Thank G-D that is not the case!

I'm doing everything that I can to not be around him. But it's inevitable that I will have to deal with him. And for those situations I plan to stay close to other people and far away from his as possibly necessary without causing extra drama. My parents see everything that's going on and completely back me up 100%. My mom realizes how bad it is more than my dad - he just thinks its my brother being the typical *******.. And truly believes that he wouldnt physically hurt me while I'm in this condition. I completely disagree with him If he could kick me in the back one month before major back surgery, what would prevent him from doing anything to me now if he loses complete self control. That is precisely the reason why I will not talk to him alone, be with him alone, etc.. and only be around him when necessary around other people. The plan is for me to recover and completely fuse and than have a family intervention where he either recognizes that he has major issues, goes to therapy where it is actually helpful, is on some sort of medication other than self medicating by smoking, and realizes how terribly he treats me... if not (which I doubt he will ever admit he has a problem or even address all of his issues that are based on completely unrealistic perceptions) than our relationship will remain the same - no contact except for when absolutely necessary and can't be avoided. His best friend also supports me and wants him to get the help that he has needed for such a long time.

I will do everything that I believe is absolutely necessary to make sure I completely recover and that I have a successful surgery. And I have no problems with completely distancing myself from him so that way I can get back to being positive. Although, I've been having trouble thinking of ways to maintain my positive outlook when he comes around and I have to pretend to sleep or be close to my dad and deal with the tension and negativity. Any ideas?

[ans]

Blair: If you do see him, would it help if you put your fusion support "belt" around you (are you still wearing it) to provide him a cue that you're injured?

Good luck in this, ans

[Blairsara]

Allan
I have to wear my brace all the time except for when I'm in bed and he knows this. It's huge - goes all the way up to my shoulder blades. But thanks for the idea. It's a really f'ed up situation but I'm trying to do what I think is best. And knowing that I have support from my parents, friends, his best friend, and a forum of people reassures me that I am taking the proper precautions.

I just want to get back to not even thinking about him and all of this drama. That is the hard part, especially since I am bored out of my mind and I keep analyzing everything.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Blair

[ans]

You could make friends with a bouncer to hang around the house.

Boredom? I'm a great believer that Netflix has some incredible stuff including some tv series' that were more art e.g. "Homicide: Life On The Street". Tell us your taste in movies and books and maybe we have some suggestions - if you can sit comfortably. I raced through James Ellroy's and Jean Ferdinand Celine's books like a maniac Enough... Like Dan's idea the best: buy your own gated mansion.

Take care of yourself, ans

[Blairsara]

So three years ago today I had my first back surgery. Now I am in a hospital bed recovering from the surgery removing the Charite disc. Kind of ironic... I go and see my dr next week.. I think I should see my pain psychologist as well.. I am filled with so much anger and hatred because of all the stuff going on with my brother and as much as I try to be positive these feelings keep finding their way back. I just want a stress free environment. I didn't realize that was too much to ask for!

It has been a long three years. Hopefully, this is the answer to all of my problems. I never thought that the situation that I am in now was where I would be when I had my original surgery. Ha.. I was naive! I am taking it day by day.. so far today has been a blah day but hopefully it will get better. I hope that sometime soon they will make an artificial disc that doesnt completely destroy the facet joints of younger patients. There has to be studies and more research on this subject. I would hate to see another person go through all of the crap that I have had to go through. The one thing I have always wanted is for my experience to be a learning experience for others.

I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Blair

[dshobbies]

Blair,

How right you are about a learning experience. Many of us decided to or not to have this or other surgeries based on what others posted.

About your anger - holding on to this emotion will definitely interfere with your entire healing process. Though hard to let go, I come with a suggestion. Have you ever meditated? If not, I'll send you a pm trying to explain the process. If yes, please meditate often, going to your happy place and peace will find you. You'll be calmer and more at ease, allowing the healing process to consume your body instead of your emotions.

Sending you good vibes, Dale

[Blairsara]

Hi Guys,

It's about that time again for an update... the two month update! Things with me are going extremely well! I went to Dr. Regan last week and he said I am basicaly healed from the surgery itself and now it's just about the fusion. He said it will be about another 4 months. I am still on a high dose of morphine - about 200 mg per day - but in two weeks I'm going to start to ween off.

Dr. Regan cleared me for a lot of things: I can go to physial therapy, go in the pool, drive, stop using the cane, basically do anything that doesnt involve bending, lifting or twisitng. He said that once I start doing exercises on a day to day basis my legs won't twitch as much.

I havent felt like this for years, and although after my initial surgery I thought I got my life back I really didnt. It has been 6 years, friggen 6 years since my back problems started, and only now do I feel like I am really on the road to recovery.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you guys know how I'm doing and that everything with my back and recovery is going very well and I am very positive. Regarding my brother, it has been over a month since I have talked to him and I plan on taking the same course of action for the next 4-6 months.

I hope everyone had a great fourth of july! I can't believe it's been two months since my surgery!