How did/do you deal with the stress?

dridobits · #1 (**permalink**) 05-07-2009, 07:40 PM

Jess, so many hugs to you. I think it's normal for you to have a huge range of emotions. This is your future you are talking about...the next phase of your life. Of course your emotions are going to be many different things.

I have ativan and I take it when needed. It's a thought. For me, I don't need to suffer anymore than I have and the ativan takes the edge off. You might want to talk to your doc or someone about getting some to get you through this waiting period. Just a thought. It was offered to me when I had a very very stressful medical situation and since then the docs agree it's good for me to have on hand. There are other things like valium. I don't like to push more drugs but for me has made a huge difference.

Of course your scared and emotional. Your about to have a major surgery and we don't know the outcome. It's the not knowing that I think that can drive us crazy. However, when I was in that state of "not knowing" I realized it was an opportunity for me to work on my skills regarding such.

It's really important to remain positive. If you feel like your going into a negative space, it's important to share that with others. I think that just by talking about it and writing as you have that can diffuse the situation...let some air out of the bag.

I am wishing you the very best. When I'm stressed I do what relaxes me...maybe watching a good movie...something to take my mind off of it. I take a lot of hot baths and sometimes just the little differences of having clean sheets, clean clothes, clean house can really help take some anxiety away.

I will be thinking of you and am wishing you the very best.

Cheryl · #2 (**permalink**) 05-07-2009, 07:58 PM

Hey Jes

I totally felt like I was falling apart too. I called Chuck (on this forum) and he talked me through it. He has a friend who had 4 levels done right before I was due to go over there and I called him too. Something about talking to someone who just went through it and survived it really helped me. Send me a PM if you want to talk.

I'm 40 mom of 3 and live in Charlotte.

treefrog · #3 (**permalink**) 05-07-2009, 08:25 PM

I am having a bit of the crazies myself Jess. In the morning, I thought the whole financial situation was well under control. But then this afternoon things crashed again, and I feel like I am going to lose it.

I need for the financial part of this to be handled so I don't have to worry about it. But it doesn't look like that is going to happen. Everything is going to come down to the wire. And I feel like I am going to throw up.

And I haven't started worrying about the what-if's with surgery itself. If that happens, I don't know what I am going to do. I can't take it.

I am going to see my PM doc in the morning, I will talk to her, not just about meds, but about the stress and anxiety. I am usually a very calm person, and can handle whatever comes along, but I am not doing a very good job at it right now.

Thanks for calling me last night. And if you need to talk, feel free to call again. Or I could call you, I have national calling on my cell phone, and don't pay long distance. Just let me know if you need to talk.

treefrog · #4 (**permalink**) 05-08-2009, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dridobits

I have ativan and I take it when needed. It's a thought. For me, I don't need to suffer anymore than I have and the ativan takes the edge off.

My PM doc prescribed ativan for me today, as one of the meds to take to Germany with me. In addition she prescribed amitriptyline (sleep aid, and anti-depressant), zofran (for nausea), more Opana-ER and oxycodone (the two pain meds I've been taking, but she gave me double the amount), and lidoderm patches for around the incision. So, I think I am ready to go, as far as meds are concerned. Oh, except I am going to buy some Miralax when I pick up the Rx's after work.

With all the stress I've been dealing with, I am planning on taking an amitriptyline tonight. I hope it will help me get a better night's sleep than I've been getting lately.

Jess, I hope you are doing okay today. And I hope you have a nice weekend, especially for Mother's Day.

Michelle Maree · #5 (**permalink**) 05-10-2009, 02:51 PM

One thing I have noticed is how important it is to be properly medicated for pain.
I am amazed and envious at how many drugs you guys are on and how freely they seem to be given.
This is something extremely hard to obtain in Australia its actually quite discusting

.
I had to fight tooth and nail to get something stonger than ibuprophen here and once on oxycontin am not allowed to refill my prescription untill just about to the day, let alone up the dose because it isnt covering the pain.
So I would say proper pain management is a must.

Nairek · #6 (**permalink**) 05-10-2009, 04:29 PM

Michelle,

It is true that in the US it is a lot easier to have pain meds prescribed by your doctor. Actually, any meds for that matter. It seems that the answer to what ails people is to just pop pills. At least that's how it seems how doctors think.

I have been on pain meds & muscle relaxants on & off for years. I get them filled at the same pharmacy & I know that I am on their "watch list". If my pain mgmt doc doesn't write my scripts out clearly, I have to wait for the pharmacy to call him before they fill my script. So if I try to fill it on a Saturday, I have to wait until Monday. Good thing I keep a few extra pills to get through the weekend.

Any narcotic medication that I have been on, will not have a refill. I have to go back to the pain mgmt doc to get another prescription. I believe this is how they keep track as to how much you are taking & whether or not the prescribed dose is helping.

It's really sad that you have to fight so hard to get the relief that you need. Proper pain mgmt is a must & you shouldn't be denied that.

treefrog · #7 (**permalink**) 05-10-2009, 07:00 PM

My Opana-ER prescription could have been filled sooner than the "month", because I could have gotten this last one filled. But, the pharmaceutical company's coupon card can only be used once every 25 days. So, I told the pharmacy I would come back after I could use it. $25 is $25, and I need to save as much money as I can. It will still be before I go to Germany, and that's all that matters.

But, yes. Here in the US it seems the answer to everything is pop a pill. I don't know if that is the answer either. But I sure am grateful I can get the pain medication I need.

I did have to sign a pain contract with my PM doctor. If I break that contract, they won't see me anymore. I can't take any pain meds prescribed by any other doctor. I have to submit to a urine test, whenever they ask. I am fine with this, as they only do it to protect themselves from people who try to get drugs when they don't need it.

runner · #8 (**permalink**) 05-10-2009, 11:48 PM

Michelle Maree,

BTW, I just had to say this but my daughter's name is Maree Michelle, with Michelle her middle name. I rarely see the name Maree. So I thought it uncanny that you have both her names in your posting name.

About the availability of drugs, apparently the Bush administration and the DEA cracked down on drug abusers by making it difficult for the normal person who is taking pain meds for pain and not a high.
When i go to the pharmacy, I often feel like I am looked down upon or thought as a drug-abuser.
One time, I got a prescription from my doctor and raced to Costco (because that is where all my meds were) and my daughter was driving me and we got there 45 minutes before they were closed. And the person there (pharmacist) is complaining because I got there too late and I am explaining we just got out of the doctor's office.

And the people there are like , "You can come back tomorrow and fill the prescription", and I am trying to them that I am in severe pain and cannot drive and am about to have major back surgery, etc... They were so ignorant of the fact that getting from here to there meant that I needed help, that I couldn't just pop over to Costco at a moment's notice and I could not just go without pain meds until the next day.
.
After that and the fact that they did not always carry oxycontin, which I was taking at that time, I switched pharmacies. But I learned long before that in the US, the doctors expect all your prescriptions at one pharmacy.
Way back when, when I first hurt my back, the physical rehab and pain doctor's nurse told me that I had to have ALL of my prescriptions at one pharmacy. I had prescriptions all over the place.
Now I just have them at a 24 hour pharmacy.

And when I was on the heavy narcotics like Oxycontin, I realized that people think that you are going to get addicted if you start them, and they didn't realize that you may build tolerance to the drug but not many people get addicted when they are taking them for pain control and not to get a high.

I found many misconceptions about pain meds and people with back pain. I always feel odd when going to pick up my prescriptions. I am taking Gabapentin (neurotoin) and i ran out recently and I am trying to tell the clerk over the phone that I can not go cold turkey on the drug. The next time, I spoke to the pharmacist himself and he was understanding and gave me a few days supply because it took at least five days to get this prescription filled.
Stuff like that is really irritating.
Also in the US to get Percocet (Oxycodone, acetaminopen) or Oxycontin, you have to get a prescription straight from the doctor's office and if the doctor doesn't fill it out properly, the pharmacy won't fill the prescription.
WHen you are in severe pain, it is difficult to go pick up a prescription because you are not supposed to drive while taking narcotics.
So you have to get someone to take you to the doctor's office.

It is just a pain and i think they are punishing innocent people who have legitimate reasons to get pain meds.

That's my humble opinion.

Runner

Michelle Maree · #9 (**permalink**) 05-11-2009, 08:02 AM

Runner, it is more unusual way of spelling Maree, I must ask my mother why. And with that name I bet your daughter is as lovely as me

.

It really hurts me that I am treated like a junkie in this country for being on medication that I really need. i have hurt and aged so much from this pain to then have little sympathy from the doctors has actually made me feel suicidal. I get no high from the medication at all in fact it doesnt cover it for more than very basic livind. And I know that if I didnt have this pain anymore that I would give it up cold turkey like after my last operation.
I then think,if I do choose to go to Germany in the next month or so how the hell am i going to get the extra medication to take with me? I may even need Dr B to call on my behalf to arrange it .Now that would be funny!!!

How did you guys arrange it?
Did you need documentation?
Michelle

Maria · #10 (**permalink**) 05-10-2009, 08:15 PM

I think you made the decision to have surgery because you feel it's what is going to work for you so as others have said be hopeful and go!

Feeling scared is so normal but as it is has been said if you've done all you can on a conservative level and that's not working then you have to reasonably move to the next step that will help you achieve your personal goal to get better.

You had 7 kids and are raising them so this is probably going to be like a vacation to you (at least a little like one)

Best wishes with your upcoming surgery and I say *just do it* (I didn't and I admire people that get it together and do!)!!!

cavalier · #11 (**permalink**) 06-07-2009, 06:54 PM

My advise is DONT try to think of the WHOLE thing at ONCE - just think of it in mini steps & one thing at a time - day by day. Take a DEEP breath & pray leave it at God's feet if you believe in God & trust that he knows your worries cares etc. It will overwhelm u if you try to think of the whole picture at one time. Just do steps each day to get yourself over there & once there take it as it comes. You can deal with tommorrow when tommorrow comes.
I had my ADR L4L5 a complicated case for a single level by Dr B at Straubing - I didn't know how we would get there in one weeks notice but we did.
I am in the process now of having to assemble thoughts quickly again - for my neck in going back to Germany.
My Best & know you have many others upholding you in spirit - that I REALLY felt the day of my surgery & afterwards. I still remember Mark's call

from the USA.
Day by day my dear bit by bit - dont think too far ahead just break it down - it is more managable that way.

Jill

Kraze Kat · #12 (**permalink**) 06-10-2009, 05:38 PM

I have been reading the various topics and trying to be not so freaked out about the operation I will be having shortly. My main question, though, is are there people that have gone through ADR by themselves. Unfortunately it is just me and my crazy cat. I would like to know what is recommended to do in advance. I have a feeling my fridge will be stocked with TV dinners at least for the first little while. One of my cars is an automatic, so that should be easier. I have automatic feeders and such for the cat so I will not have to pour food everyday. His water will also last a couple weeks (though all I really have to do is let the faucet drip as he prefers this. I am sorry I am a little scatterbrained right now, but I have two weeks until I have it done. I am trying to tie up all of the loose ends and have most of it under control (I think). I just don't want to overlook any small details that can turn around to bite me in the butt. I hope I am mentally prepared, but we will soon see. AAAGH! (There, I got it out)

Katie · #13 (**permalink**) 06-10-2009, 05:53 PM

What surgery are you having?

Can you get one of those 'fingers on a stick' gadgets? They have a handle on one end and grippers on the others so that you can pick things up without bending over, or get things off a tall shelf?

Remember that your gut will be sluggish after anesthetic, especially if you are having lumbar surgery and your organs are being moved aside. So make sure the food you are stocking up on is good for you, not too much junk food which will contribute to constipation. You will heal better with a proper diet too. Trail mix, with dried fruit and nuts gives you something to chew on, easy to eat (no preparation), and helps keep the gut moving, just as a start.

Make sure that the kitty doesn't jump on you and your incision...we have several of the critters, and I know how they like to crawl over us and jump on the most inappropriate areas

I'm sorry, I haven't gone through this myself, but am trying to remember what I liked having around when I went through my last abdominal surgery. Keep posting and don't worry about 'too many questions'. That's what we're here for.

How about gadgets for the shower and/or bath too...rubber mats to make sure you don't slip when you are able to use it, but are still a little unsteady. You can rent stools for sitting while you shower, and handles for the side of the tub, just in case. I'll keep thinking....

Kraze Kat · #14 (**permalink**) 06-10-2009, 06:50 PM

][quote=Katie;10257]What surgery are you having?
I am having L-5/ S-1
Can you get one of those 'fingers on a stick' gadgets? They have a handle on one end and grippers on the others so that you can pick things up without bending over, or get things off a tall shelf?

I can try to find one, though things are hard to find here. This is one of those times I wish Germany still had Wal-Mart.

Remember that your gut will be sluggish after anesthetic, especially if you are having lumbar surgery and your organs are being moved aside. So make sure the food you are stocking up on is good for you, not too much junk food which will contribute to constipation. You will heal better with a proper diet too. Trail mix, with dried fruit and nuts gives you something to chew on, easy to eat (no preparation), and helps keep the gut moving, just as a start.

Your true genius has shown.

Much tastier than tv dinners and I can limit my up and down the stairs.Non refrigerated items should have been common sense for me.

Make sure that the kitty doesn't jump on you and your incision...we have several of the critters, and I know how they like to crawl over us and jump on the most inappropriate areas

Not much control over this one, but just before reading this, he did just that.

I'm sorry, I haven't gone through this myself, but am trying to remember what I liked having around when I went through my last abdominal surgery. Keep posting and don't worry about 'too many questions'. That's what we're here for.

How about gadgets for the shower and/or bath too...rubber mats to make sure you don't slip when you are able to use it, but are still a little unsteady. You can rent stools for sitting while you shower, and handles for the side of the tub, just in case. I'll keep thinking....

Lucky for me, my house is owened by an older lady so there are the handles.The mats, they can be functional and cute. Score!! (BTW, my little kitty just ran over me again)[/QUOTE]

Thank you soo much. I have an associate that just went through it. I talk to him at least once a week to see how he is doing, and he is hating life. I will be having the same Dr. as him and such. However, he did say that everyone else that went to him was doing rather well. I know some say that women handle pain easier (I'm not claiming this is true or untrue), but sometimes he can be a little wimpy. For the time being, I am hoping that claim is true. (No offense to you guys) The part that really scares me is the having to give myself injections. I am deathly afraid of needles. If I stay moving, though, I probably would not need them. Also in his case, he has a wife that loves him more than anything and would do anything to keep him comfortable. I am really starting to worry. He goes back to work in a couple of weeks, but he is still pretty bad. He tells me not to judge the procedure by his outcome, but he is the only one I know that has gone through it.

symara · #15 (**permalink**) 06-10-2009, 07:31 PM

why would you have to give yourself shots?

Katie · #16 (**permalink**) 06-10-2009, 07:41 PM

Heck, I haven't even gotten started yet

Most people take these suggestions as nagging, especially Dear Heart!

"why would you have to give yourself shots? " I was about to ask the same thing....I don't know of anyone who had to do this.

I would listen to your associate and not worry about your recovery mirroring his. I don't know why it is, but most of the women I know have come through the surgeries easier than men, and I am no way prejudiced that way.

Just reporting the facts

As for the gadgets, our pharmacies (drug stores, etc....I don't know what your term is for that) carry them, as much as Walmart does.

I'll see if I can think of anything else....