How did/do you deal with the stress?

[Michelle Maree]

Runner, it is more unusual way of spelling Maree, I must ask my mother why. And with that name I bet your daughter is as lovely as me .

It really hurts me that I am treated like a junkie in this country for being on medication that I really need. i have hurt and aged so much from this pain to then have little sympathy from the doctors has actually made me feel suicidal. I get no high from the medication at all in fact it doesnt cover it for more than very basic livind. And I know that if I didnt have this pain anymore that I would give it up cold turkey like after my last operation.
I then think,if I do choose to go to Germany in the next month or so how the hell am i going to get the extra medication to take with me? I may even need Dr B to call on my behalf to arrange it .Now that would be funny!!!

How did you guys arrange it?
Did you need documentation?
Michelle

[runner]

Michelle Maree,

the usual spelling here is Marie. She is my first so I wanted her to be unique and I really loved the name.
She doesn't always like it because people cannot spell it or pronounce it properly.
Funny enough, I got the name from a soap opera. One day, while I was pregnant, I saw the real name of an actress as Maree. Maybe that was fortune-telling because my Maree does sing and act. Real extrovert, unlike her mom.

One thing I found here, is that none of my current doctors treat me like a junkie. (Although I did speak to doctors that were like that).
They believe I am in pain and have given me pain prescriptions when I have needed them. When I went off pain meds after surgery, I was allowed to slowly decrease the dosage. I was in a heck of a lot of pain immediately after surgery, but the pain meds were sufficient. That was one thing I was worried about was being undermedicated. My fears were actually unfounded.

[jessmith07]

Hi All...I hope all you Mom's had a great Mother's Day...I sure did!

Well, I'm feeling much more calm, although still scared. My pain at the moment is being managed by my regular doctor, and when I called and explained that I needed enough pain meds for a month for after surgery, all she gave me was 60 Lortabs, 10mg. I thought, that's 2/day if something happens and I have to stay for a month...or 4/day for the 2 weeks I'm planning on being there. Not good enough. So, I decided to make an appointment with a pain management doctor to get myself established before I left, because I figured that I might need one after I got back, and it'd be easier if I already had one. I have an appointment this Wednesday. I sent the names and numbers of all my doctors and an authorization to contact them and get my records, as well as a description of my surgery and diagnosis from Dr. B. Hopefully, he'll be more helpful and understanding in getting me what I need.

Now, if I could only get back into a decent sleeping pattern...I have definitely seen an improvement with the increased Cymbalta, my daily anti-anxiety med, and I'm able to focus a bit better, and I know that would get even better if I were well rested.

I have my moments when I still want to "chicken-out" of the surgery, but I did that last year with the laminectomy, and cancelled it back in April, because I had found a drug that got my pain under control, just as I have now. So I resumed my active lifestyle, and even kicked it up a notch, and wound up doing even more damage, and the medication wore off, and I was in so much pain, I could barely move. Plus, the medication I'm on now, Arthrotec, has some pretty nasty side-effects for being on it long-term, so even though it took my pain level from an 7/8 down to a 2/3 INSTANTLY, I want off of it ASAP. But, I have to admit, it's still tempting to say, "I'm not so bad, now...I don't really need this surgery, do I?" And then I'll look at my x-rays and MRI images, and say, "Yes, Jess...you have to do this, before you make other areas worse..."

Anyway...I haven't been on in a couple of days, so I just wanted to check in...everyone's been keeping me pretty busy, and I've been forcing myself to stay in bed at night, even though I'm awake...

I'm still hanging in there...and the handle is getting stronger...

[treefrog]

My Mother's Day was very blah, though that isn't necessarily a bad thing. My boyfriend worked Saturday night, and slept well into the afternoon. Then when he got up, we only spent a little time together before he took off to go to MD to check on his house there. He's turning right back around, and driving back home tonight. But he wanted to check on everything, before we go to Germany.

So, I watched TV, called my Mom. Then my sister called me, and later my son called me too. Anyway, my sister had talked to our Mom, who mentioned that I had been talking about asking her (my sister) to go to Germany with me. Well, I had been talking about it, but only if my boyfriend wasn't able to be there the entire time (but he is going to be there). But, she said she wanted to be there for me, and would find a way if I wanted her to be there.

I suggested that she come stay with me, after I get home from Germany. So, that is what she is planning (she needs to work out some details). But, I can't tell you how happy I am that she is going to come spend a week with me, and help out. She started talking about cooking meals for me, to freeze in portions, so I could just reheat them after she is gone. I can't tell you how much of a help that is going to be. Plus, just having someone at home to help with every little thing, and talk to. My sister and I are exactly one year apart - to the day - and we are such good friends too.

Michelle (and Jess), I also have a very good relationship with my pain management doctor. I have been seeing her for a year and a half, and she trusts me. When she had me sign the "pain contract", I felt like it was only a formality, and she has only ever asked me to do a urine test that first day (to prove I was only taking what she has prescribed). When I told her I was going for surgery, and that I was concerned about the pain, and anxiety and all kinds of other things, she only wanted to help. Every concern I had, she addressed (with meds). But she also said she wanted to see me when I got back, within a week of returning, or sooner if I needed her. I'm sure she wants to make sure my pain is being managed adequately.

I think it is imperative that we have a doctor who trust us, who don't make us feel like drug addicts, and want to control our pain. I know that finding that kind of doctor can be next to impossible in some areas. But, if your doctor is not meeting your needs, try to find one who will.

My anxiety of late last week hasn't come back. This morning I made a partial payment for my surgery. And everything went smoothly. Although, I made the mistake of not checking my bank account before I set up the transactions. I did not think my cash advance would be posted to my checking account, so I only made the partial payment with the money I knew was there, when I could have paid in full. But, I will pay the rest later this week. But I tell you, I was really worried when they started talking about rescheduling my surgery, if I couldn't arrange payment before I arrived. Luckily that is all going to work out. Phew.

[Eastex]

I want to thank every one that posted on this. I too am suffering from depression and it was nice to read these comments. I can see that everyone goes through these feelings. I was in severe pain for years, had surgery, then my wife left, and I am still in pain. All of my guns are at a relatives house now. I have had really bad thoughts and I am tired of the meds now. I know I have to take them, to get through this. My Pain doc is working with me and there is a counselor that I see. I can't stand to listen to country music. It is so depressing. I listen to rock mostly. But, it is strange for a Texan not to listen to country! I know it will get better. Time heals all wounds.

[runner]

Eastex,

I think Rascal Flats and Kenney Chesney are pretty uplifting.

Runner

[Katie]

Eastex, It took a long time to find the right medication to keep my pain at a manageable level. It 's not perfect of course, as the meds make me very unsteady at times, but if I keep on top of them and don't let the pain get ahead, then life is worth living....and I'm saying that very seriously.

I hope you can keep trying to find the right medication that won't interfere with life too much. Mine just makes me sleepy mainly, and I can't talk or type too well most of the time, but I don't have the awful nausea, disorientation, etc tha the others gave me. Some of them made me so ill I ended up in an ambulance, so I am very careful about which ones I take.

I haven't checked your past posts so forgive me if this has been covered before, but are you scheduled for any surgery or relief of any kind?

Hang in there.

[jessmith07]

Originally Posted by Eastex

I want to thank every one that posted on this. I too am suffering from depression and it was nice to read these comments. I can see that everyone goes through these feelings. I was in severe pain for years, had surgery, then my wife left, and I am still in pain. All of my guns are at a relatives house now. I have had really bad thoughts and I am tired of the meds now. I know I have to take them, to get through this. My Pain doc is working with me and there is a counselor that I see. I can't stand to listen to country music. It is so depressing. I listen to rock mostly. But, it is strange for a Texan not to listen to country! I know it will get better. Time heals all wounds.

Eastex,

Heloooo Texas...I'm from Ft. Worth! It's been a while since I've been home (at least 10 years, but moved away in 1994), but you know what they say, "You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the Girl!"

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you're still having so many problems. My ex-husband had a fusion (while I we were still married) and so I know both sides of the coin here, both being a care-giver and a patient. I do remember that he was in a LOT of pain for quite some time after his fusion (posterior, not anterior), and it took at least 5-6 months for him to finally start to feel "better". Now...that being said, he was not the most compliant patient, and didn't want to do what the doctors told him to do if it caused him the slightest amount of pain, so I think that could have prolonged his healing. BUT...he did eventually get better...all told, it took him a little over a year to fully recuperate. So, be a patient patient (I know that's easier said than done). When I had my laminectomy last September, I (illogically, I know) expected to be able to jump out of bed and get back to being the super-mom, super-wife, super-(fill-in-the-blank) that I thrive on being. But that certainly didn't happen...I know I've probably said this before, but it took time for your back to get to the point of needing surgery, and now that you've had it, you've got to give it time to heal.

Now, on another point regarding meds...my doctor, about 6 weeks ago, tried me on a new (for me) med called Arthrotec 75. It's an NSAID for osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis, but I tell you what, I took that pill at night with a pain level of 7/8 (I HATE narcotics or opiates; I'd only take a narcotic when I was DESPERATE and suffering the rest of the time), and when I woke up the next morning, my pain level was a 3/4. The next ay it was down to a 2/3 and it's remained between 1/3 ever since. You might talk to your doctor about this.

Hang in there, and don't be afraid to talk to us. It really helps more than just you...or me...to know that we aren't alone.

Jess

[jessmith07]

Symara,

Are you thinking of having a 3rd discectomy on that disc or are you thinking of having a fusion or ADR? If you're thinking of a 3rd discectomy, then you wouldn't have to be off work for so long...can you work from home? I know I'll probably be working from my hospital bed in Germany...but I'm a little on the anal side and I want things done MY way and don't want anyone else doing MY STUFF...

I know that's probably not much comfort...but just know that regardless of the choice you make, you aren't alone. I learned that very quickly after I joined this forum. This is a community of good people who have soothed me at noon while I'm fighting back tears at my desk at work, and at 3:00 in the morning, while I'm fighting the "crazies" in my living room. I have found so much peace here...I wish there was a way we could organize an annual iSpine Reunion just we could get together every year and I could hug everyone's neck (gently! )...and I've only been a member for a couple of months!

Hang in there, and I know that there are a lot of people who are available to talk via the forum or one-on-one (feel free to PM me if you'd like) anytime you need it.