How did/do you deal with the stress?

[jessmith07]

Originally Posted by Eastex

I want to thank every one that posted on this. I too am suffering from depression and it was nice to read these comments. I can see that everyone goes through these feelings. I was in severe pain for years, had surgery, then my wife left, and I am still in pain. All of my guns are at a relatives house now. I have had really bad thoughts and I am tired of the meds now. I know I have to take them, to get through this. My Pain doc is working with me and there is a counselor that I see. I can't stand to listen to country music. It is so depressing. I listen to rock mostly. But, it is strange for a Texan not to listen to country! I know it will get better. Time heals all wounds.

Eastex,

Heloooo Texas...I'm from Ft. Worth! It's been a while since I've been home (at least 10 years, but moved away in 1994), but you know what they say, "You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the Girl!"

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you're still having so many problems. My ex-husband had a fusion (while I we were still married) and so I know both sides of the coin here, both being a care-giver and a patient. I do remember that he was in a LOT of pain for quite some time after his fusion (posterior, not anterior), and it took at least 5-6 months for him to finally start to feel "better". Now...that being said, he was not the most compliant patient, and didn't want to do what the doctors told him to do if it caused him the slightest amount of pain, so I think that could have prolonged his healing. BUT...he did eventually get better...all told, it took him a little over a year to fully recuperate. So, be a patient patient (I know that's easier said than done). When I had my laminectomy last September, I (illogically, I know) expected to be able to jump out of bed and get back to being the super-mom, super-wife, super-(fill-in-the-blank) that I thrive on being. But that certainly didn't happen...I know I've probably said this before, but it took time for your back to get to the point of needing surgery, and now that you've had it, you've got to give it time to heal.

Now, on another point regarding meds...my doctor, about 6 weeks ago, tried me on a new (for me) med called Arthrotec 75. It's an NSAID for osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis, but I tell you what, I took that pill at night with a pain level of 7/8 (I HATE narcotics or opiates; I'd only take a narcotic when I was DESPERATE and suffering the rest of the time), and when I woke up the next morning, my pain level was a 3/4. The next ay it was down to a 2/3 and it's remained between 1/3 ever since. You might talk to your doctor about this.

Hang in there, and don't be afraid to talk to us. It really helps more than just you...or me...to know that we aren't alone.

Jess

[jessmith07]

Symara,

Are you thinking of having a 3rd discectomy on that disc or are you thinking of having a fusion or ADR? If you're thinking of a 3rd discectomy, then you wouldn't have to be off work for so long...can you work from home? I know I'll probably be working from my hospital bed in Germany...but I'm a little on the anal side and I want things done MY way and don't want anyone else doing MY STUFF...

I know that's probably not much comfort...but just know that regardless of the choice you make, you aren't alone. I learned that very quickly after I joined this forum. This is a community of good people who have soothed me at noon while I'm fighting back tears at my desk at work, and at 3:00 in the morning, while I'm fighting the "crazies" in my living room. I have found so much peace here...I wish there was a way we could organize an annual iSpine Reunion just we could get together every year and I could hug everyone's neck (gently! )...and I've only been a member for a couple of months!

Hang in there, and I know that there are a lot of people who are available to talk via the forum or one-on-one (feel free to PM me if you'd like) anytime you need it.

[treefrog]

I just "googled" arthrotec - I think this is the drug my rheumatologist is going to try me on. Her nurse called to tell me they got the message about the swelling, and she wanted me to try a different med. They are calling it in today, I'll pick it up on my way home. I asked the nurse what it was, she was trying to spell it, but was having difficulty reading the doc's handwriting, but she did say it was diclo....something.

If this is what she is prescribing, I really hope it works. I have been having such a hard time with pain and stiffness in my feet and hands. But it's my feet that worry me the most. After surgery, it's going to be difficult enough trying to walk around. Having the added stiffness and pain isn't going to help.

[symara]

ok, speaking of stress....

did you every argue with your significant other/husband/wife where they think you are being close minded to their opinion about what procedure you are going to have done because you know you DO NOT want fusion???!!! We got in a big argument because I would rather be in pain than have fusion and he thinks I haven't researched all the pros and cons of it and I have my mind only set on ADR...

It's just so frustrating

[Katie]

Thankfully my husband has complete trust in the research I have done regarding my upcoming surgery.

I have to tell you though, that I've had to do a complete 180 in my own opinions. I researched ADR vs fusion for over a year, and was headed for what I thought was the right plan...four ADRs. Because of several reasons, including problems with insurance, etc. I've had to look elsewhere and I am now comfortable with getting hybrids, ADR plus fusion.

And I am only comfortable with this because of the superb reputation of the surgeon. He explained things well (although I still need some more questions answered), and while I have had to compromise on my previous decision, I feel it is going to be fine.

If someone had told me six months ago that I would accept fusion, I would have thought them insane. But I opened my mind once again, and accepted that there may be more than one answer to the same question.

I truly hope that you find the answer you are looking for. This is a very tough road.

[treefrog]

My boyfriend and I did have one argument because he thought I should just deal with the pain, and if it were him he wouldn't choose surgery. But, he's come around.

And like Katie, he respects the research I've done, and knows that this is the best decision for me.

It's difficult when you feel your significant other is not supportive. Or trivializes your pain.

[jessmith07]

Symara,

I'll post more on this subject when I get home tonight (I'm at work, but not getting much done... ), but if you'll send me a private message with your email address, I'll send you some really good material that I've gathered about the benefits of ADR vs. fusion that you can give to your husband to read, if you'd like.

Jess

[mmglobal]

We have to understand that they don't necessarily have a frame of reference that would let them understand. It is often terrible when our spouses, families, friends and coworkers don't get what we are experiencing and therefore cannot support us in the way that we hope. However, it is sometimes unreasonable for us to expect them to. This is especially true when they have doctors or friends who are medical professional how have expectations about the options we pursue, without having informed knowledge about them.

Jess... treefrog... I'm looking forward to that iced cafe' in the town square with smiles and hugs all around. See you in a couple of weeks (or less!)

Mark