Surgery Monday August 8th

[kajari]

Judy,

I can sympathize with you about your marriage. My marriage fell totally apart after my spine injury in 2007 because I am not the same person physically that I used to be. Just when I thought I could not deal with any more of the horrible pain, pain meds, etc then I was handed this new difficulty in my life. I was divorced this year but in my case my ex-wife left me and my four children. She only has custody of my children two weekends a month and on a good month three weekends. I am thankful that I have my parents and siblings living in town to help me when I need it. Hang in there and I pray that your marriage problems can be resolved and your back problems will give you some relief. Take Care, Greg

[Maria]

Judy,
That's excellent news! Yea!!!! I'm so glad you are able to breathe better and standing up straighter! Whoohoo for successful spine surgery that actually made something else better!

Hope things get better on the marital front as well. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship w/your kids and hopefully your husband if he wants to will join in.

For the record even tho I moved out from living w/dh I think in 2005 we have remained married. While living together I know my spine situation was something he didn't really "deal" with so sort of ignored it and me. Since living alone I did improve physically and mentally as well because of that however so did dh's attitude it seems. He has been there for me consistantly which really did surprise me actually.

Hang in there and wishing you the best with all

[jsewell]

Thanks Greg . I am so sorry to hear with your horrible spine problems your marriage fell apart too. 4 kids as well. What are the ages of yours if you don;t mind sharing. All ages have their challenges that is for sure.
My husband just does not remember what he was doing at the ages of my kids and never even mentions our daughter who is putting herself through school and never has asked for anything. I guess it is my accomplishment as he is blaming me for the problems. He did make a comment the day after he said he was sorry for the things he said and that he would not leave me that it is either or oldest leaves or he leaves. Again how is that love and sticking together. I guess it just leaves me in an unsure relationiship and certainly not anything solid.
Maria i can certainly say he is not there for me when i need him or surely has not been there. On my aug 8th surgery, he never showed up or called after surgery. I was calling the house repeatedly in tears.
Then he was not there for me on going home day either which was a total disaster in itself with dead battery and him having his phone off. I just can't drop some of these things so easily and in fact hang onto the bad things forever , i think. It is still too new.

well i'm going to just be proud and looking forward to brightening my surgeon;s day as he still probably feels guilty about all the lung capacity i lost when he decided not to do my surgery and sent me to DrRegan. so wish i had someone to drink to my 13% improvement to lung capacity thanks to spine surgery!!!!
judy

[dshobbies]

I am so grateful for my husband. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be me.

But, it is not perfect. He is not perfect and I am not perfect. We do have a very solid marriage but when things got off balance, we did see a marriage counselor. For us, it worked and I wouldn't hesitate to see her again if it ever became necessary.

So many things can cause any of us to doubt ourselves, our decisions and our lives. This is the time for intervention. When life gets too difficult to cope, a professional can give us techniques that make it easier. Certainly if nothing else, they tell us the truth which we often are reluctant to face.

I wish we all had the strength to deal with whatever comes our way but sometimes we need help. I think more often than not, those who don't seek outside help are doomed to make bad decisions.

My heart goes out to anyone who had been affected by adversity.

Dale

[kajari]

I've learned the happiest times in my life lately are lived through my childrens eyes. Mine children are 3, 7, 9, and 13. My 13 year old has really stepped up and helps a lot. I just want her to live like a 13 year old and not worry about me but that is really hard for her to do. It has been really tough on me being a single father but it forces me to get up and do more ... at times the pain is unbearable but I have to do it for my kids. I hope you can find peace in your marriage and get through these tough times. I know a lot of what you are going through as I was left in the hospital for my surgery this year (April) and had no visits from my ex-wife (wife at the time). It really makes you question a lot of your relationship. But you can work through all of this. Try to focus on your good times with him and the positive things he brings into your life. Whatever you do I hope you can get much needed relief, support, and healing. Take Care, Greg

[jsewell]

Thank you Greg. You really do have your hands full with such young children. Glad your 13 year old is a good helpful kid, you sure need that right now.It must be so tough. I guess it is difficult at all ages. Mine have bigger problems at their ages of 16 (can't get her to go to school though) 18,23,25. My oldest left the Army almost a year ago as he was sick and needs to go back any time now. But all 4 are living at home right now. I love it though they each have their special challenges.
I think this time (this surgery) i have not let myself hang around and heal. I have been out every day with different things to do including my regular dr. appointments. I should have rested more, i never know how that effects the outcome. I still have pain in the left butt and hip area which is pretty bad.
WAiting to hear some good news from you Greg
judy

[Maria]

Judy,
Thanks for reminding me re hijacking the other thread. Hope this morning finds you feeling Ok and/or better. I wonder if also because your lungs are more functional you just have more energy now as well.

Re your class.. are you able to sit this soon after your fusion or spine surgery? Is it a 3 hour class? Did you make it or will you make it to class?

If you don't make it this trimester or semester can you make it up soon?

I'm hoping to be able to volunteer in a hospital or clinic setting after I buy my condo/or am more situated. For now I come and go between LA county and SD county and feel like a nomad!

If I have enough energy and ability (really more my feet than back at this point) I'd ilke to volunteer in an animal shelter too.

Ok hope your nerve pain is dying down and you're progressing well despite some of the stuff that's going on at home.