Surgery Monday August 8th

[kajari]

I've learned the happiest times in my life lately are lived through my childrens eyes. Mine children are 3, 7, 9, and 13. My 13 year old has really stepped up and helps a lot. I just want her to live like a 13 year old and not worry about me but that is really hard for her to do. It has been really tough on me being a single father but it forces me to get up and do more ... at times the pain is unbearable but I have to do it for my kids. I hope you can find peace in your marriage and get through these tough times. I know a lot of what you are going through as I was left in the hospital for my surgery this year (April) and had no visits from my ex-wife (wife at the time). It really makes you question a lot of your relationship. But you can work through all of this. Try to focus on your good times with him and the positive things he brings into your life. Whatever you do I hope you can get much needed relief, support, and healing. Take Care, Greg

[jsewell]

Thank you Greg. You really do have your hands full with such young children. Glad your 13 year old is a good helpful kid, you sure need that right now.It must be so tough. I guess it is difficult at all ages. Mine have bigger problems at their ages of 16 (can't get her to go to school though) 18,23,25. My oldest left the Army almost a year ago as he was sick and needs to go back any time now. But all 4 are living at home right now. I love it though they each have their special challenges.
I think this time (this surgery) i have not let myself hang around and heal. I have been out every day with different things to do including my regular dr. appointments. I should have rested more, i never know how that effects the outcome. I still have pain in the left butt and hip area which is pretty bad.
WAiting to hear some good news from you Greg
judy

[Maria]

Judy,
Thanks for reminding me re hijacking the other thread. Hope this morning finds you feeling Ok and/or better. I wonder if also because your lungs are more functional you just have more energy now as well.

Re your class.. are you able to sit this soon after your fusion or spine surgery? Is it a 3 hour class? Did you make it or will you make it to class?

If you don't make it this trimester or semester can you make it up soon?

I'm hoping to be able to volunteer in a hospital or clinic setting after I buy my condo/or am more situated. For now I come and go between LA county and SD county and feel like a nomad!

If I have enough energy and ability (really more my feet than back at this point) I'd ilke to volunteer in an animal shelter too.

Ok hope your nerve pain is dying down and you're progressing well despite some of the stuff that's going on at home.

[jsewell]

WEll Maria, my husband came home late last night after spending the weekend with his cousin up north and said he is leaving and left. So i guess the marriage is over, The kids are a mess. My oldest was worried about money and us being able to stay in this house we are renting. My girls cried their eyes out. My youngest wasn't home last night so when i picked her up this morning i had to tell her. She was a mess and said between tears she never wants to see him again. WE got home and she took off running,. She has never run before. This is the firstr week of school and i need to get her in somewhere. It is her junior year, but she has lots to make up.

So my spine recovery. Class is from 9-3 on sundays. I was in the middle of a 3 class series for medical coding and billing so i couldn't stop, i missed the first coding class, but it did not effect too much. Sitting is horrendous , i just pop the pain pills and bring a pillow (i forgot it yesterday) i sit on my hand , sit up, stand up whatever it takes. Not easy , but life sure won't be any more either. I need to get trained in something else as education is a dying field in this state. No money for it , especially special education. I need a job with benefits too. Must get self sufficient and able to support my 4 kids in case the former husband stops sending money.

I guess for only 3 weeks out i am doing OK. The nerve pain is still there on my left side., After surgery it was on the right side and the left felt OK. Now it is the opposite, how does that happen? I see the doc for the first real post op today. I'll post then. i am still taking percocet and neurontin and muscle relaxers. I was opened up for a giant incisiion. I will find out today what exactly he did.
judy

[Maria]

Judy,
Sorry to hear your spouse had a change of heart/mind tho if it's where he was going mentally it's probably best his body followed. Sounds like he's in a world of emotional turmoil and has pitched the rest of the family full force into it. I do hope if he cannot be a good spouse he can be a good father and/or be as financially responsible as he's supposed to be.

I am amazed that you can even force yourself to sit as long as you are~ amazed! I haven't been able to sit that long since after my first back surgery and then after L4 went and esp. after my failed discectomy on L4 sitting has been the worst activity for me. It has improved since L5S1 autofused but not that much!

Yeah I know all about sitting on my hands, shifting weight, and every other moved designed to look like I'm actually sitting but more probably am more in motion than when I'm walking!

You're to be commended for your persistance even tho I question how much you should be doing this soon post op I do admire that you're trying so.

I don't know what would give you pain that shifts from one side to the other.. I had that but I hadn't had any fusion so was told it was either the disc material leaking out on both sides or a paracentral bulge. Most of my symptoms that used to be so strong have resolved with the autofusion of L5S1 tho L4 is still problematic to a degree so I do have pain with prolonged sitting esp. and sometimes if I'm too active I have pain (and probably w/o my pain medication I'd have much more pain).

Am interested to hear what you've had done "in there" as well if you feel like sharing.

BTW I'll be back in LA county next weekend so maybe we can meet in person one of these days. I promise not to overdo anything prior to planned meet up so that I'll actually make it. Again it's not my back that seems to mess w/me as much as my feet these days.

[jsewell]

I saw my surgeon today ,it has been 3 weeks since the surgery and 2 i guess since the nerve blocks. What he did was take out some screws in my mid thoracic region to add a connector rod to extend the fusion down to L-4. Then he took out some more screws near the upper lumbar area that he thuoght were irritating me. Then of course the fusion of L3 and L4. My leg pain in the right side went away with the injections, when i got to the surgery center i almost could not walk, now the right side is pretty much back to normal . the right side , however is hurting now.
He said to come back in 2 weeks and if the left side is still bothering me, we could try more shots . Time will tell,. I had xrays of my neck too and some screws are pulling out so he said we may have to go in and put a hook if i fall out anymore. Oh joy.
Maria that would be great if we could meet and talk in person. Let me know when you are around.
judy

[dshobbies]

Judy,

I accused you of having no backbone when dealing with your family. In light of what has been happening behind the scenes, you're actually doing a remarkable job and indeed, you are a woman of great strength.

To deal with all your surgeries, your pain, your emotions, your children and now your husband - I've always considered myself a strong person but all that would do me in.

I'm truly sorry your husband has decided your medical problems were too much to deal with. I actually would have had a few choice words for him but I've also learned looking into other people's windows doesn't tell the whole story.

Judy, we're here for you. Please use us as you need or want. Your plate is so full - anytime you need to unburden, we're right beside you.

Dale