Surgery Monday August 8th

[dshobbies]

Judy,

I'm so sorry your daughter got into an accident. It's traumatic but the main thing is that no one was hurt. So let's just pile up another worry to your seemingly endless list.

Renting a car might be a good idea but Jamie might not be eligible to drive it because of her age which leaves you giving her your car. If your insurance is for the entire family this is OK but I recall specific exclusions for my kids. Please make sure your coverage is OK. And speaking of which, I assume her car was insured and replacable?

Rest up so you can deal with whatever today brings. Too bad soap opera's are on the decline because you could provide new material. Keep a diary just in case. You seem to be a walking poster girl for ' if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have none at all', good for TV but living through it is another story.

Dale

[Maria]

Judy,
Just wanted to say that I'm glad to hear your daughter is OK esp. after her vehicle being totaled. Wow!

Now I hope that doesn't place more of a burden on you physically/emotionally tho no doubt somehow it will.

Good luck w/all.

[jsewell]

Yes Maria the burden is emotional, financial for sure. If it ends up effecting health, i don't know.
I saw my psychiatrist today. I started out with since i've seen you, i had more back surgery, foot surgery, my husband left me and my daughter got into an accident last night. He was actually speechless.

Jeff on the other hand just told her to have the guy next door fix the brakes. No offer of any other help. Jamie said when she hung up he didn't say anything of value. Not like you are down to 1 15 year old car, why don't i get you something more reliable . While he gets ready to take over his girlfriend's expensive BMW.

Maria you asked when my pain was worse. Actually when i first wake up is really the worst. I take pain meds 2 or 3 times per day so if i have let a lot of time go inbetween, that also gets bad too.
My last injections were right after i got out of the hospital around the middle of August. I see my surgeon on Tuesday so i will see if i will have them the next week or if he will want to wait longer.
This message disappeared for awhile , so i am sending it now that i found it. bye
judy

[Maria]

Hi Judy,
I do hope your back has shown some improvement in the 6 plus weeks post op. You've really never had a real recovery period so the fact that you do as much as you do is pretty amazing to me. I know post my 2nd spine surgery the pain was just so bad there was no way I could do anything much for quite a while altho I did have to return to work which almost killed me or so it felt.

If only someone had given me an ESI back then ...or given me one appropriately as I had it in the office not under fluoroscopy and it was brutal and didn't help at all. I remember not wanting to have them again as they didn't work that way but then finally about 9 years later I had them given properly and it was a WORLD of difference. Probably my spine was a world of diff to given it wasn't so fresh post op.

Oh well.. glad to hear you are seeing your doctor soon. By more physical stress what I meant was emotional stress creates more tension and could capitulate you into more spasms as well as actually maybe having to drive more given your daughter's vehicle circumstances. I won't even say what I think of J here re his response or lack thereof.

take care Judy.. I did pm re addressing other "stuff"

[dshobbies]

Judy,

I assume your psychiatrist eventually found his voice - what did he say as to your depression? Did he give you any coping suggestions? Stress very definitely interferes with health if for no other reason than you hold yourself more rigid. Also digestion and other stomach functions are affected. Relaxation is not in the cards unless you practice it. So yes, your recoup has been negatively affected. Again, I strongly suggest mediation or deep relaxation at least twice daily. It's so calming to escape for those 10 minutes and let's your body and overworked muscles get a few minutes off.

I also think it's probably time to stop hoping Jeff will come to anyone's assistance for any reason. He has checked out and if you expect more, you're setting yourself up for more disappointment. I think he will only give what he is legally obligated to give and nothing more. Sad - but the way it is. From what you've said in the past, it sounds like he was moving away from family life for a long time.

Judy, this is going to sound like a weird suggestion. Try googling a joke site and read a few everyday. Putting a smile on your face or a giggle in your throat is also a good escape. Laughing is also very good medicine. Just be careful not to laugh to hard as it could hurt your back

Dale

[jsewell]

Hi Dale and Maria
Dale you are right about the expectations of Jeff. Right now he is avoiding seeing me like the plague. He still feels guilty.
I just asked him once again to come and talk about dividing up the assets as he is keeping his debt if he wants to live. And i am keeping my savings. He only answers by email.

Laughing will be a good thing. When i hear my boys laughing, i go in there room, but it is never something i could laugh at!
I have a friend in Georgia that recommended some comedies so i will have Randy order them on netflix.

Jamie;s 15 year old car is supposed to be fixed later today. The rear brakes went out. The mechanic sounded like it was only going to be just over $200 so we are lucky.
Yes other parts of my back have been hurting, i know i am too tense., I am trying to practice relaxation. I will look for jokes.
I am also getting a lot of headaches again , which might be allergies too.

This string of bad luck started in 2008 when i was told to not come back to school to teach the next year. It has been all down hill from there. I did have a short period of fun after my hip was replaced, i felt wonderful for a short time and went hiking every morning , then hit the pool for a mile swim at 11. Then the back started really hurting . I thought swimming was a good thing after my hike. Oh well, the discs were bad, not much i could do to heal them.
judy

[dshobbies]

Judy,

Well they say bad luck lasts for 7 years so the beginning in 2008 is not exactly good news but I prefer to believe bad luck comes in 3s. Confucius say - I don't know what. Just having some fun.

I've also heard the breast stroke is bad for hurting backs? I rarely do it myself post ADRs.

And I know my own headaches come from the tension I carry in my neck and shoulders. For me, it's easy to tell because the pain starts in the back of my head. Allergy and sinus headaches begin in the front. Basically, does it feel better to rub your temples or the base of your hairline? My eye strain headaches begin in my eyes and go up. I also get migraine like headaches when I cry. However, they all hurt! The remedy for all is the same so whichever works for you - although be careful about drug interactions.

Have you hired an attorney yet? I am assuming the sooner the better given that reconciliation is not an option.

Again, I believe that relaxing is your new best friend. If you need some tips on meditating, pm me. I'll walk you through it. No mantra required!

Dale